Ok, y'all wanna' LOL and LYAO and such... here ya' go *SMGDH*

[BluBlood]

:dead:

Don't you worry...I ain't gowan nowhere. :no: The only people that have been up there are the directv guys. :emlaugh:

Have them come out two times a year for "wiring" problems. That way you will have someone checking your attic to make sure it's safe...lol

 

[Jax]

:shame:

Yesterday early evening/afternoon, my uncle (mother's younger brother) called the po pos (firemen) on ya' boy because I was about to burn down my big momma's old house. :|

Long story short, I'd called the fire marshall for the county to ensure that a burn ban wasn't in effect, so I was about to light that bad boy up because it's dilapitated. Had 5 big gallons of diesel and was shaking it all over the crib when this mare head muthafugga' came rolling up showing his "grill." :retard: :

him: what'chew doin' ricky?
me: finna' set it on fire unc! *"BURN BABY BURN" is playing back to back on my truck CD lol* (no kidding)
him: what'chew gonna' do that fo'?
me: it's uninhabitable. it needs to go unc! makes no sense to waste time tearing it down so i'm just gonna' burn it.
him: hell naw nah lil' ricky! daz my momma's house! daz d only thing i got to remember her by!
me: well, you'd better go git'chew a plank off the side of the house because it's about to go *POOF!*
.
me: *continues to shake diesel over the front porch and against the wood frame house*
him: STOP IT!
me:
him: does yo' momma' know what'chew doin'?!
me: *setting gas can down* YES! And so do your OTHER 3 living sisters! i talked to them last weekend and they asked about the condition and they too agreed that it had to be burnt or torn down.
him: but ricky...... daz my momma' house. *damned near in tears!*
me: *picking up gas can* MAN UP UNC!
him: *dialing 911*
me: *HURRYING TO SPREAD THE REST OF THE DIESEL SO I CAN LIGHT IT* lol
him: :bawling: *calling my momma, i guess*
me: *on the other side of the house when i hear the sirens coming* great...
him: here come da' firetruck ricky! stop it!
me: too late! *makes haste towards lighter that's in truck#1* lol
him: here they come!
me: aw hell.......
fireman #1 as he exits the big truck: where's da' fire and who's trapped inside*
me:
him: i called y'all to make y'all make him stop tryna' burn my momma's house
fireman: sir! u were about to set someone's house on fire!
me: sir! my GRANDMOTHER has been dead for 17 years and my GRANDFATHER has been dead for 14 years! I SAW A BIG ASSED SNAKE IN THAT DAMNED HOUSE LATE LAST YEAR AND HE STILL IN THERE AND I'M FINNA' BURN THIS STRUCTURE DOWN BECAUSE IT'S DILAPITATED! *striking on lighter igniter*
him: *damned near in tears*
fireman: sir... blah blah blah blah......

I didn't recall everything the fireman was telling me as I put the gas can in the back of the truck and got in and was about to leave and take a shower to attend a HS bball game. Uncle and those dudes were talking and I think they washed the house down w/ water after I left because I didn't see too much of the diesel fuel remnants against the side of the house that I'd previously left (noticed as I returned last night lol).

This whole ordeal was and is a trip. :retard: Why the generation of folx @ my mother's level can't agree on things that are "communal" is beyond me.

P...

this story right chea...had me :bawling: :lol::bawling::lol:

MAN UP UNC! :lmao:

 

[DR. GSUAKA93]

P...

this story right chea...had me :bawling: :lol::bawling::lol:

MAN UP UNC! :lmao:

I thought it was just "P"easy with these stories... But Jax... You 2? Lawd Hammercy!!!! Yall some comedians for real!!!

 

[chocalate_topaz]

Yeah, I know P and Jax's folks. They right up the street from me. You never knew how much that raggedy rose bush out front...in that cut up tire...that nobody fertilized... meant until somebody dies. One day, they gonna touch the right nerve at the funeral/repast and I'm just gonna yell out, "Sat your lying, signifying, ain't did shat so you don't really give a fugg ass down somewhere."

 

[Seeing Spots]

P:

You need to write your life's story, complete with the family interactions, sell the book rights so they can make a movie, and let Martin Lawerence play you.:lol:

Regards.

Awwww, that would be so cool. :lol: :emlaugh: Martin would be perfect to play that ignant bastid. :lol:

Yeah, I know P and Jax's folks. They right up the street from me. You never knew how much that raggedy rose bush out front...in that cut up tire...that nobody fertilized... meant until somebody dies. One day, they gonna touch the right nerve at the funeral/repast and I'm just gonna yell out, "Sat your lying, signifying, ain't did shat so you don't really give a fugg ass down somewhere."

:lol: :emlaugh: :bawling: :lmao:

 

[Panther88]

Yeah, I know P and Jax's folks. They right up the street from me. You never knew how much that raggedy rose bush out front...in that cut up tire...that nobody fertilized... meant until somebody dies. One day, they gonna touch the right nerve at the funeral/repast and I'm just gonna yell out, <b>"Sat your lying, signifying, ain't did shat so you don't really give a fugg ass down somewhere."</b>

It's to a point now where Imyself and other relatives can't sit through any of those ceremonies around here. I had 4 (yes, the number four) funerals to attend this past w/e who'd passed earlier last week and the week prior. The local funeral home had so many bodies until one of my cousins was held out for a week and a half as there were 9 funerals weekend before last where even 3 of those were my relatives. Seems like everybody is getting "smart" these days because as SOON as one of these local "passas" and the <b>professional mourners who wanna' say something idiotic and lieing</b> gets up to say some words, quite a few of us leave and stand outside until it's time to bring our folk outside and either load them up on a wagon, back of a truck, or the hurst. :| My cousin Rob has put his mules/wagon in overtime every single weekend since mid-Dec. My fam goes in cycles, for whatever reason.

 

[Jax]

I thought it was just "P"easy with these stories... But Jax... You 2? Lawd Hammercy!!!! Yall some comedians for real!!!

I'm jes sayin what God loves...da truth! I still remember dat schitt like it was yestiday mernin. ::argue2:

Yeah, I know P and Jax's folks. They right up the street from me. You never knew how much that raggedy rose bush out front...in that cut up tire...that nobody fertilized... meant until somebody dies. One day, they gonna touch the right nerve at the funeral/repast and I'm just gonna yell out, "Sat your lying, signifying, ain't did shat so you don't really give a fugg ass down somewhere."

:lol: You know, dats when them sumbatches tap dance on dat last nerve. Durin the repast, when folks tryin to eat baked chicken, rice dressin, peas and that dull yellow corn.