Ok, y'all wanna' LOL and LYAO and such... here ya' go *SMGDH*


Panther88

Panther88

Banned
:shame:

Yesterday early evening/afternoon, my uncle (mother's younger brother) called the po pos (firemen) on ya' boy because I was about to burn down my big momma's old house. :|

Long story short, I'd called the fire marshall for the county to ensure that a burn ban wasn't in effect, so I was about to light that bad boy up because it's dilapitated. Had 5 big gallons of diesel and was shaking it all over the crib when this mare head muthafugga' came rolling up showing his "grill." :retard: :

him: what'chew doin' ricky? :confused:
me: finna' set it on fire unc! *"BURN BABY BURN" is playing back to back on my truck CD lol* (no kidding)
him: what'chew gonna' do that fo'? :mad: :confused:
me: it's uninhabitable. it needs to go unc! makes no sense to waste time tearing it down so i'm just gonna' burn it.
him: hell naw nah lil' ricky! :mad: daz my momma's house! daz d only thing i got to remember her by!
me: well, you'd better go git'chew a plank off the side of the house because it's about to go *POOF!*
.
me: *continues to shake diesel over the front porch and against the wood frame house* :D
him: :mad: STOP IT! :mad:
me: :confused:
him: does yo' momma' know what'chew doin'?! :mad:
me: *setting gas can down* YES! :mad: And so do your OTHER 3 living sisters! :mad: i talked to them last weekend and they asked about the condition and they too agreed that it had to be burnt or torn down. :mad:
him: but ricky...... :( daz my momma' house. *damned near in tears!*
me: *picking up gas can* MAN UP UNC! :mad:
him: *dialing 911*
me: *HURRYING TO SPREAD THE REST OF THE DIESEL SO I CAN LIGHT IT* lol
him: :bawling: *calling my momma, i guess* :rolleyes:
me: *on the other side of the house when i hear the sirens coming* great...:rolleyes:
him: here come da' firetruck ricky! stop it! :mad:
me: too late! *makes haste towards lighter that's in truck#1* lol
him: here they come!
me: aw hell.......:rolleyes:
fireman #1 as he exits the big truck: where's da' fire and who's trapped inside*
me: :rolleyes:
him: i called y'all to make y'all make him stop tryna' burn my momma's house
fireman: sir! u were about to set someone's house on fire!
me: sir! :mad: my GRANDMOTHER has been dead for 17 years and my GRANDFATHER has been dead for 14 years! :mad: I SAW A BIG ASSED SNAKE IN THAT DAMNED HOUSE LATE LAST YEAR AND HE STILL IN THERE AND I'M FINNA' BURN THIS STRUCTURE DOWN BECAUSE IT'S DILAPITATED! :mad: *striking on lighter igniter*
him: :( *damned near in tears*
fireman: sir... blah blah blah blah......

I didn't recall everything the fireman was telling me as I put the gas can in the back of the truck and got in and was about to leave and take a shower to attend a HS bball game. Uncle and those dudes were talking and I think they washed the house down w/ water after I left because I didn't see too much of the diesel fuel remnants against the side of the house that I'd previously left (noticed as I returned last night lol).

This whole ordeal was and is a trip. :retard: Why the generation of folx @ my mother's level can't agree on things that are "communal" is beyond me.
 



I told him and others last summer that I contemplated tearing it down if not burning it. I talked to my aunts and the youngest brother didn't care because he knew the condition of the home.

I went inside that home for the first time in WELL over 12-13 years and it's totally uninhabitable and when I saw some dead rats in the middle of the floor and I saw the TAIL of what was a snake crawling away going towards that kitchen area, that was all she wrote. :|

I'm on my way there RIGHT NOW as SOON as I log off and I'm going to be playing that SAME CD w/ "BURN BABY BURN!!!" I got the remainder of the diesel @ my mother's place so.... let it do what it do later on tonight if the wind isn't high. :read: :read: :read:

I'd hope no one was attempting to live in that place w/ the condition it's in. The house is well over 40+ years old and in dire need of maintenance and improvements. Like the kind that says scrap it and start over. :|

I'm fulfilling my family obligation. Unc's gonna' hafta' just be mad about it because I'mmo light that SOB up like it's the 4th of july. :|
 
P:

You need to write your life's story, complete with the family interactions, sell the book rights so they can make a movie, and let Martin Lawerence play you.:lol:

Regards.
 
Lawd have mercy!!! The wind was tooooooooo high for anybody to be burning anything yesterday. Maybe Unc was a sign you didn't need to be burning it.....yestrday that it is. :lol: Let me turn to the news the news to see if there's any BREAKING NEWS in Montogomery. :uhoh: Shole hope yo Unc don't come after you if you were successful in burning the house down today. :smh: :lol:
 
"me: well, you'd better go git'chew a plank off the side of the house because it's about to go *POOF!*"


Spit water on my keyboard....:lmao::lmao::lmao:
 
Antroy said:
P, did you get the fire started tonight?
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lol Nah. I didn't burn the house down this evening. :|

Howsinever, I DID burn these 2 EXTRA large brush piles that was close to the house. :read: The fi was creeping slowly along the dry grass towards the house and I was about to get excited and fall out and holla' out "somebody dial 911... the house on fi" so that the fire marshall wouldn't say that I did it on purpose. :rolleyes: :read:

Actually, the property is between Conroe and Montgomery on FM2854 (what we call the "new" road lol).
 
You want to make sure there is no fire ban in that area and also you need to burn during the day. You can't burn in the evening time and call them (fire dept) and let them know you are doing a controlled burn so theuy will know before hand. You may also want to check with the training dept of the local fire dept and see if they want to use it a training house to burn down. I know we get people to do that all the time where we can burn a house down and train putting it out until that sucka is totally gone. If you do that you may also get a tax credit for donating the house and get them to burn it for you.
 
Fiyah said:
You want to make sure there is no fire ban in that area and also you need to burn during the day. You can't burn in the evening time and call them (fire dept) and let them know you are doing a controlled burn so theuy will know before hand. You may also want to check with the training dept of the local fire dept and see if they want to use it a training house to burn down. I know we get people to do that all the time where we can burn a house down and train putting it out until that sucka is totally gone. If you do that you may also get a tax credit for donating the house and get them to burn it for you.
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Yeah, I called the fire marshall's office for MontCo and they indicated no burn ban was in place so that's why I was about to proceed. And you're correcto about the controlled burn through the daylight hours. :tup:

I'll inquire if the local FD wants to use the house as a training house. Appreciate that tip. :tup:
 



got the same problem in my family...

Grandfather built a house with "bare hands" and it's still standing. barely. It's sooooo uninhabitable it's not even funny. 2 years ago my cousin and her teenage kids moved into the house, stayed for a year. I purchased a couple of carbon monoxide alarms for the house (b/c the heating system is horrible). One day my cousin (the mother) said the gas people were out to read the meter and he came running in the house like, "you have a gas leak and it's a possibility that carbon monoxide is coming back into the house". He left. I asked her, what happened with the alarms I bought. She said they kept going off so she took the batteries out. :retard:

She moved out. My aunts/uncles swear up and down she made the whole thing up so she wouldn't have to live there.

The foundation is brick and it's cracked. The house is wood and it's molded. It needs to be torn down immediately.

The aunts/uncles want us to give money to fix it. I said I'm only giving money to demolish it. They say their daddy wouldn't like that. I say your daddy is ashamed you allowed it to get like this.

These are my daddy's siblings. He just laughs and doesn't answer the phone. LOL
 
southsuburbs said:
got the same problem in my family...

Grandfather built a house with "bare hands" and it's still standing. barely. It's sooooo uninhabitable it's not even funny. 2 years ago my cousin and her teenage kids moved into the house, stayed for a year. I purchased a couple of carbon monoxide alarms for the house (b/c the heating system is horrible). One day my cousin (the mother) said the gas people were out to read the meter and he came running in the house like, "you have a gas leak and it's a possibility that carbon monoxide is coming back into the house". He left. I asked her, what happened with the alarms I bought. She said they kept going off so she took the batteries out. :retard:

These are my daddy's siblings. He just laughs and doesn't answer the phone. LOL
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:lmao:
 
southsuburbs said:
got the same problem in my family...

Grandfather built a house with "bare hands" and it's still standing. barely. It's sooooo uninhabitable it's not even funny. 2 years ago my cousin and her teenage kids moved into the house, stayed for a year. I purchased a couple of carbon monoxide alarms for the house (b/c the heating system is horrible). One day my cousin (the mother) said the gas people were out to read the meter and he came running in the house like, "you have a gas leak and it's a possibility that carbon monoxide is coming back into the house". He left. I asked her, what happened with the alarms I bought. She said they kept going off so she took the batteries out. :retard:
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:lol::lol::lmao::lmao:

Regards.
 
southsuburbs said:
got the same problem in my family...

Grandfather built a house with "bare hands" and it's still standing. barely. It's sooooo uninhabitable it's not even funny. 2 years ago my cousin and her teenage kids moved into the house, stayed for a year. I purchased a couple of carbon monoxide alarms for the house (b/c the heating system is horrible). One day my cousin (the mother) said the gas people were out to read the meter and he came running in the house like, "you have a gas leak and it's a possibility that carbon monoxide is coming back into the house". He left. I asked her, what happened with the alarms I bought. She said they kept going off so she took the batteries out. :retard:

She moved out. My aunts/uncles swear up and down she made the whole thing up so she wouldn't have to live there.

The foundation is brick and it's cracked. The house is wood and it's molded. It needs to be torn down immediately.

The aunts/uncles want us to give money to fix it. I said I'm only giving money to demolish it. They say their daddy wouldn't like that. I say your daddy is ashamed you allowed it to get like this.

These are my daddy's siblings. He just laughs and doesn't answer the phone. LOL
Click to expand...

It's dreadfully obvious that you and I are related. :shame: I don't know whether I should :emlaugh: or :shame: @ what'chew just typed up there ssuburbs because it sounds ridiculously damned familiar. :shame:

So, I'll.....:emlaugh: :bawling: :emlaugh: Bruh, no lie... I installed 10 smoke detectors in my mother's crib and the local fire agency had a deal where they were <b>giving away</b> smoke detectors to people in the community who didn't have them; all you had to do was install them. Hell, they even threw in the battery for free. :retard: Why did EVERY SINGLE damned relative INCLUDING my mother disconnect them SOBs? :confused: :shame: SHEEEEEEEEEEEE said..... (and I'm quoting her word for word) <b>"babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy.... 'nem thangs kept going off in dah kitchen and in dah rest of da house... so we disconnected 'nem."</b> Man, I was :confused:... and I RESPONDED w/ this (literally word for word): <b>"Momma! :shame: It's a SMOKE detector! It DETECTS SMOKE! :smh: If you and Lee would STOP cooking on that STOVETOP like y'all were OUTDOORS @ a campfire while COOKING W/ THE FLAME TOO HIGH AND BURNING/SCORCHING THE FOOD, the grease, pots, and pans would NOT be smoking like you're outside over a campire momma....:shame:"</b>

:shame:
 
Stuff like this are why black folks are good comedians. We get our material from our families. All you have to do is be around them for a weekend and you got enough material for a life time. :lol:
 
Panthro said:
It's dreadfully obvious that you and I are related. :shame: I don't know whether I should :emlaugh: or :shame: @ what'chew just typed up there ssuburbs because it sounds ridiculously damned familiar. :shame:

So, I'll.....:emlaugh: :bawling: :emlaugh: Bruh, no lie... I installed 10 smoke detectors in my mother's crib and the local fire agency had a deal where they were <b>giving away</b> smoke detectors to people in the community who didn't have them; all you had to do was install them. Hell, they even threw in the battery for free. :retard: Why did EVERY SINGLE damned relative INCLUDING my mother disconnect them SOBs? :confused: :shame: SHEEEEEEEEEEEE said..... (and I'm quoting her word for word) <b>"babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy.... 'nem thangs kept going off in dah kitchen and in dah rest of da house... so we disconnected 'nem."</b> Man, I was :confused:... and I RESPONDED w/ this (literally word for word): <b>"Momma! :shame: It's a SMOKE detector! It DETECTS SMOKE! :smh: If you and Lee would STOP cooking on that STOVETOP like y'all were OUTDOORS @ a campfire while COOKING W/ THE FLAME TOO HIGH AND BURNING/SCORCHING THE FOOD, the grease, pots, and pans would NOT be smoking like you're outside over a campire momma....:shame:"</b>

:shame:
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I swear ya'll are killing me this morning. I'm falling out of my chair ROTFLMA:lmao: The whyte folxs in here think I'm crazy. This hsiz is funny. Most families go through this type of stuff at least once every 20 years. It's sad but oh so true.
 
CEE DOG said:
Stuff like this are why black folks are good comedians. We get our material from our families. All you have to do is be around them for a weekend and you got enough material for a life time. :lol:
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Man Cee... I don't understand this bullshat. That which I typed and ssuburbs typed is just plain damned ridiculous. :|

My mother lives APPROXIMATELY .2 miles (like 600 feet) from youngest brother and APPROXIMATELY .3 miles (~7-800feet) from the NEXT youngest brother and ~2-3 miles from sister #1 and sister #2. Why in the HELL do they NOT like speaking or conversing w/ each other on the "shared" property is beyond me. They don't talk to each other @ all. :| Even my "holy-moly" momma' flexes her muscle WHILE in church. She used to be the "songstress" in the church until my Aunt Faye decided that she wanted to be in the senior ladies choir. Momma' wasn't having it and quit not only the choir but moved her membership to another church APPROXIMATELY .3 miles away (you can throw a rock from my family's home church to the other church :retard: ).

Every since big momma' passed, their "true" colors have shown. 13 damned kids where only 7 are still living and they treat each other like enemies. :retard: It's pitiful. :tdown:

Now my greatest concern is that the "hate" is filtering down to my genre of people (1st cousins :read: ). I KNEW unc would tell his 4 sons exactly what I did and how I talked to him (disregarded him). I told momma' just last night in front of her hubby and a neighbor up the street because she got word that 2 of my cousins from San Antonio will be coming home this w/e to "take care of me." :| They can start some shat if they wanna'. I'm not in the mood to play and we can play gott dayamed like they're roll and I'll be rock and we can rock and roll in that some-beach all damned weekend if they wanna'. :uzi: Batches! :mad: :uzi: :slap:

Intra-family fight send help! :uzi: :slap: :mad:
 
Panthro said:
They can start some shat if they wanna'. I'm not in the mood to play and we can play gott dayamed like they're roll and I'll be rock and we can rock and roll in that some-beach all damned weekend if they wanna'. :uzi: Batches! :mad: :uzi: :slap:
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Man I'm laughing with you and not at your situation. Families can truly act an azz when they want to. Yep even holy-high roller mama can act a fool when she wants to.
 
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