Life is Interesting





CEE DOG said:
:lmao: I see you at early this hea morning..... :lol:
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I'm like a fat kid in a candy shop, shucks if he's willing to answer I'm gonna ask. I'm like Joe, "I wanna know"! :lmao:

There were topics that (tried) to discuss him while he was gone but folks shut them down...well now let's just go straight to the source.
 
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southsuburbs said:
I'm still confused...

So was she saying you NEVER told her you were HIV positive? LIke at all throughout the relationship.

From reading your posts it seems you are saying you told her, at some point throughout the relationship, that you were HIV positive. Even after that she chose to still have sex with you. That you were convicted not on the fact that y'all had sexual intercourse (and she knew) but b/c from the moment you became intimate (kissing) she was not aware of your status...and that you didn't tell her until AFTER y'all "kissed".

The court agreed that you did not notify her prior to y'all being intimate but you're saying from the interviews/what's on paper that it was proven she knew.

Is all of the above correct or am I off?

In relationships moving forward how soon do you disclose your status?

Also...when discussing relationships as a HIV infected person (if you discuss these things) what do you say when it comes to dating as a HIV male or someone that may end up dating a HIV infected person? I know it's not a "death sentence" anymore BUT it's still a std and just like any other std nobody really wants to get them so for most people (including myself) if I hear up front someone has one I'm going the other way.

Other than the obvious response, "well that's your choice to go the other way"...what else would you say?

Oh and Good Mernting y'all!! :lol:
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Good questions! 'Cause I'm curious, too.

And GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!! :wavey:
 
The is a really odd thread. I mean.....shouldn't this have been your first post upon coming back......and not your 300th?

Some things aren't adding up here.
 
My responses are in bold:

I'm still confused...

So was she saying you NEVER told her you were HIV positive? Like at all throughout the relationship.

Yes she was aware 3 months after we were together. Yet, not prior to intimacy but prior to sex. But there is a subsection to the law that when interpreted means that I cannot insert ANY object inside of a person without notifying them first. I hope this explains that.

From reading your posts it seems you are saying you told her, at so I’m still confused...

I informed her prior to sex but not prior to intimacy. The law basically does not want people who are HIV positive to be intimate prior to disclosure.

So was she saying you NEVER told her you were HIV positive? LIke at all throughout the relationship. Different.

In some of her documents she stated that and in interviews she stated something different. I’m a realist and when I was noticing how the judge was not an “academic judge†and how the prosecutors were viewing me as a successful man who was dominating a trusting woman. Then knowing that people fear this disease…they would have thrown the long sentence at me. So through my lawyer we admitted to the intimacy part. I was actually going to take it to trial but one day I saw how it was aging my mother and I said let’s take plea. My lawyer wanted to battle the law as being unconstitutionally vague because it has been proven that you cannot contract the disease through kissing etc…. Also, I was not the first in Arkansas convicted of this crime so there was precedence set.

From reading your posts it seems you are saying you told her, at some point throughout the relationship, that you were HIV positive. Even after that she chose to still have sex with you. That you were convicted not on the fact that y'all had sexual intercourse (and she knew) but b/c from the moment you became intimate (kissing) she was not aware of your status...and that you didn't tell her until AFTER y'all "kissed".

I did not tell her prior to kissing but prior to sex. What I consider intimacy is fingering. I was hoping that you would grasp that. Once I told her we tried to build a relationship on a stronger basis but needed professional help to mature. So we pursued professional counseling. Again, I told prior to sex but not prior to intimacy. The most interesting issue was that she continued to have a sexual relationship and agreed to marry me. Yet, she always pushed the buttons of not knowing prior to intimacy and stating, “what could have happened.â€

The court agreed that you did not notify her prior to y'all being intimate but you're saying from the interviews/what's on paper that it was proven she knew.

It was proven she knew prior to sex but not prior to intimacy. It was proven the she knew prior to sex and not intimacy.

In relationships moving forward how soon do you disclose your status?

I disclose my status very early on but since I am in a committed relationship that is a non-issue for me because a woman hung with me through prison. My ex filed these charges in April 2006 approximately 6 months after our breakup, which she admitted was not about me being HIV positive. I’m not going to discuss how I met my significant other because that is our personal agreement with each other, but our closest friends are aware.

Also...when discussing relationships as a HIV infected person (if you discuss these things) what do you say when it comes to dating as a HIV male or someone that may end up dating a HIV infected person? I know it's not a "death sentence" anymore BUT it's still a std and just like any other std nobody really wants to get them so for most people (including myself) if I hear up front someone has one I'm going the other way.

My opinion to someone who is not positive is to be upfront. If someone tells you they are and you decide not to date them just say it. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Like they have been honest with you, be honest with them. It’s as simple as that. Furthermore, don’t try to have an attitude of feeling sorry for them. That would hinder them growing and recognizing that rejection is part of the game. Heck I don’t want this disease but I had no choice, I was 7. So at the end of the day I was a victim but my ex was a bigger victim. I don’t look at this situation with anger; I view it as a growth process. Right now I am at the happiest point in my life because I don’t have to hide that I am HIV positive but have learned to embrace something that was so painful that I victimized someone else. And that is a shame.

As a person with an STD you must maintain mental support because thinking positive is the key to the disease. Having this disease you develop depression, anger, trust issues, and suicidal thoughts. One of the things I advocate is group therapy, which is what I am trying to push the legislature in Louisiana to develop in each Parish. These then moves to the social treatment of it because what helped me was seeing people who are married, have kids, and living a full life given the circumstances. Some of my work out partners were positive and even business associates.

Good questions….you mind if I add this to my blog I’m building on my foundation’s website?
 
JSU/99 said:
The is a really odd thread. I mean.....shouldn't this have been your first post upon coming back......and not your 300th?

Some things aren't adding up here.
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People have choices brother....the HOG knew and Kenn knew. Also, I didn't rejoin until I was in the hospital bored and had nothing to do because since I'm recovering from surgery I can't get out as much. Also I saw Dr. Phreeze at the airport about a month ago. But you're entitled to speculate. I'm allowing this because quite frankly it supports my out reach for the foundation. Each question or comment helps me because the same questions SS is asking I've answered in person.

Imagine 25 graduate students and 3 hour conversation....so I'm not angry I actually enjoy it. Imagine maintaining secrecy of something where you have told only a few people but now you can really be yourself and not worry about "what if somebody finds out"......in short...I love myself and that is a beautiful thing.

Usually by this time in the morning I'm at a Health Clinic networking or speaking. I've been out since March 21st...
 



The Founder said:
No I commend you all....really you all are like family. I think when I was positing before I was so dayum angry.....
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I think we felt "misled"/appalled at the nature of your previous comments and then to learn what we did was like we had been hit with a ton of bricks. So sprinkle the misled with appalled and angry and there you have it. :tup: And yes, we talked about this...as you are well aware...and most things were not so nice.

You really don't owe us anything but I'm glad you are discussing what transpired. :tup:
 
kellis said:
I think we felt "misled"/appalled at the nature of your previous comments and then to learn what we did was like we had been hit with a ton of bricks. So sprinkle the misled with appalled and angry and there you have it. :tup: And yes, we talked about this...as you are well aware...and most things were not so nice.

You really don't owe us anything but I'm glad you are discussing what transpired. :tup:
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I talked TIHS to get away from the pain. I am a big flirt. That's just me. Even to this day...LOL...Kenn had to get on me already. One of the things I enjoy is keeping women happy because I have a dayum good Mother and dayum good Sister. So knowing them.....my comments may come off now as if I want someone but quite frankly I'm happy....very happy with the woman in my life.

Furthermore I think happiness shows through.....

But I feel you....but believe this is not the "DSN" from before....that's why when I was asked do I want my old screen name back I said no....
 
The Founder said:
I talked TIHS to get away from the pain. I am a big flirt. That's just me. Even to this day...LOL...Kenn had to get on me already. One of the things I enjoy is keeping women happy because I have a dayum good Mother and dayum good Sister. So knowing them.....my comments may come off now as if I want someone but quite frankly I'm happy....very happy with the woman in my life.

Furthermore I think happiness shows through.....

But I feel you....but believe this is not the "DSN" from before....that's why when I was asked do I want my old screen name back I said no....
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:clap:

Glad you talking about this man... This will hopefully bring light the misconceptions and continued taboo that this subject brings about. Some people are more ignorant than more willing to learn.. We all go through things in life regardless what it is....

:bowdown: Again.. You have found your True Calling...
 
luvdaboom said:
agrees with these statements; this is a subject that is taboo and is not talked about enough in our community. Again glad you turned something negative and positive and have a good attitude about it
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*nods*

Rarely do I have nothing to say, but .... :tup:
 
The Founder said:
I talked TIHS to get away from the pain. I am a big flirt. That's just me. Even to this day...LOL...Kenn had to get on me already. One of the things I enjoy is keeping women happy because I have a dayum good Mother and dayum good Sister. So knowing them.....my comments may come off now as if I want someone but quite frankly I'm happy....very happy with the woman in my life.

Furthermore I think happiness shows through.....

But I feel you....but believe this is not the "DSN" from before....that's why when I was asked do I want my old screen name back I said no....
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I'm happy for you! :tup: Keep sharing your story; our communities NEED this!
 
SUJagFan said:
*nods*

Rarely do I have nothing to say, but .... :tup:
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You should try it more often...

Aye Founder...
Thanks for answering, and yes you can use my questions/comments in your blog just not any of my personal info (if you know it which I don't think you do).

Have you talked to the young lady that brought charges against you? What's she up to?

You have shared a lot of info and I say THANK YOU, and as I stated before you are "better" than me b/c I wouldnt have fessed on anything up in here! :lol:
But LDB (that's luvdaboom) is right...this situation isn't discussed enough out in the open in our communities which is one of the reasons why it's so high (and continuing to rise) for Blacks.

I ask questions...mostly b/c I'm nosey but some things I really do want to know.

I know Doctors and other medical professionals can't share your personal business with anyone (like you having HIV) but can a friend/acquaintence get in trouble (legally) for sharing your personal info with anyone even if it's true? Like if you tried to holla at someone and I tell them you have HIV (or any other std)...can I catch any backlash legally?
 
southsuburbs said:
You should try it more often...

Aye Founder...
Thanks for answering, and yes you can use my questions/comments in your blog just not any of my personal info (if you know it which I don't think you do).

Have you talked to the young lady that brought charges against you? What's she up to?

You have shared a lot of info and I say THANK YOU, and as I stated before you are "better" than me b/c I wouldnt have fessed on anything up in here! :lol:
But LDB (that's luvdaboom) is right...this situation isn't discussed enough out in the open in our communities which is one of the reasons why it's so high (and continuing to rise) for Blacks.

I ask questions...mostly b/c I'm nosey but some things I really do want to know.

I know Doctors and other medical professionals can't share your personal business with anyone (like you having HIV) but can a friend/acquaintence get in trouble (legally) for sharing your personal info with anyone even if it's true? Like if you tried to holla at someone and I tell them you have HIV (or any other std)...can I catch any backlash legally?
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By the time you tell them that I am HIV positive they will already know...plus really it's not your place especially when someone is open with their status. Part of my parole agreement is not have any contact with the victim or the victims family and I will NEVER have contact with her.

When you are happy with yourself....there is nothing to "fess"up to....when you try and hide you are only hiding from yourself...I have done that long enough. If you are at Bayou Classic....I owe you a big hung of thanks!!!!

Appreciate you!!!!
 
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