Lawd... I feel the need 2 confess w/ my mouth. *SMH*


Panther88

Banned
:shame:

First, God forgive me for doing what I did. :smh:

Secondly, I'mmo tell exactly what I did. :( *sigh*

My attitude stinks when it comes to menfolx :rolleyes: who stand in the pulpit and aren't saying what my mentally retarded slowful brain thinks they should say/do (verbatim from the "good book"). So, I and my boy's wife were in Walmart last Fri evening near the toy section. There, we both saw some halloween skeletons that are ~6 inches tall. :shame: We both simultaneously agreed that we HAD to pull a prank on the "kuntry" lol folx because they believe in voodoo like they believe in God (go figure). So, we both agreed to meet up @ this one preacha's house late last Sat night @ midnightish/1amish and put 2 of these skeletons on the preacha's escalade lol and his cts door handles. :shame: Well.... guess what ol' boy said yester a.m.? :smh:

I had to walk out along w/ my boy and his wife lol after he started his "Kearney Thomas" rant. :retard:

It went something like this (it started out low and then he started that shouting lol):

<b>
passa: chillunz... somebody done tried to put....voodoo on yo' passa. :( me and my wife had'ta walk to chuch like we used'ta do when momma' and daddi'nem had us to hook bessa :confused: and tank (mules) up to da' waggin cuz we ain't have no car. i went out to my car dis moanin' and dare on top of my car was a body.... a NAKED HUMAN BODY! (starts shouting) i cried out to my wife... ROSIE!!! I SAYYYYYYYYYY ROOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZIIIIEEEEE!!!!! SOMEBODY DEADDDDDDDD OUT HURRRR ON UNDA' I CAR POTE!!!!!</b>

By this time, I looked @ my girl and my boy and they were in tears along w/ me. All 3 of us had to go outside where we BURST out :lol:. lol

I had to piece a lot of this together but it's my understanding ~snicker~ in talking w/ momma' late last night that they called the "voodoo expert" :emlaugh: :bawling: :emlaugh: over and asked HIM :emlaugh: what to do and to remove the "hex" and get the skeletons off their rides. :lol: Well... guess who the "voodoo expert" is? :confused: :emlaugh: :lmao: It's momma's husband. :emlaugh: :lol: :emlaugh: So, momma' told me that her husband took some flour (yes, the kind you cook w/ :lol: ) and sprankled some over their new cadillacs and said some mumbo-jumbo and what not while cutting the rope lol that had those mini-skeletons tied to them. She said he had to use some plastic gloves :lol: to remove them and then he put them in a plastic sack w/ 2 "fresh" chicken eggs :shame: and threw the bag in Lake Conroe. :emlaugh: :lol: :emlaugh: :bawling: Man... I was in TEARS again last night (early this a.m.). As I tried to lay there w/out :lol:... :shame: I thought about all those remaining skeletons I had. Methinks there are ~10 or so more to go so, guess what your boy did @ 5a.m. this morning whilst preparing to entrez to work? I shole did. :nod: I hung one of those skeletons on the door handle of his new truck. :lol: :emlaugh: :bawling: #1, he caught a fever about my white truck so he went out and bought a red one JUST like it. He's afraid of the color red (he's superstitious as hell) because he says that it's the "mark of the beast." :lol: Well, the "beast" has a skeleton hanging on it's door handle and I'm most CERTAIN, I'll hear about this later this evening/tonight when I return home.

Sorry for the lengthiness but for the last 24 hrs, I've been :lol: :bawling: :lol:

Lawd, I need to repent. :shame: ~snicker~
 



:shame:
Lord help him. Pranks on man of the cloth.
As many storms we get around these parts, yo azz gonna get struck. :uhoh:
 
Whhheeeeewww!!!! I thought you were going to tell about the tailgate this Saturday.

Oh.... :( :smh: Bruh.... lol I'm just glad you ain't my daddy or I'd be on the straight and narrow for life. Your <b>stare</b> is awesome! :lol: Talk about control! :what: :emlaugh:
 
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

I knew I should not have opened this while at work. Dammit panthro, you got me laughing so hard I had to walk out of the office to keep from getting loud while laughing.
 
Avoiding the question, huh? :rolleyes:

No. U asked "where?" I originated there------> lol. Born/reared just north-northwest of Houston. :)

:shame:
Lord help him. Pranks on man of the cloth.
As many storms we get around these parts, yo azz gonna get struck. :uhoh:

Somebody'll be underneath me if I get struck. Be careful. :rolleyes: *mumbling to self* :rolleyes:

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

I knew I should not have opened this while at work. Dammit panthro, you got me laughing so hard I had to walk out of the office to keep from getting loud while laughing.

:lol: 41 years old and STILL doing some of the EXACT same stupid stuff I used'ta do when I was younger. Wow... :(

too much! :lol:
No! :read: That avvy pic of your'n is too much. :read: :uhoh: *looks out for c-diddy to make sure he's not fumbling through the back of the jeep :uhoh:*
 
:lol: 41 years old and STILL doing some of the EXACT same stupid stuff I used'ta do when I was younger. Wow... :(

No! :read: That avvy pic of your'n is too much. :read: :uhoh: *looks out for c-diddy to make sure he's not fumbling through the back of the jeep :uhoh:*

Just goes to show that we all don't learn as time passes. :lecture: :lmao:
 



Panthro,

I was scared to open this thread and now I know why! You're a dagnabbit fool!

I'm laughing and shaking my head at the same time.
 
Somebody'll be underneath me if I get struck. Be careful. :rolleyes: *mumbling to self* :rolleyes:
:lol: 41 years old and STILL doing some of the EXACT same stupid stuff I used'ta do when I was younger. Wow... :(
No! :read: That avvy pic of your'n is too much. :read: :uhoh: *looks out for c-diddy to make sure he's not fumbling through the back of the jeep :uhoh:*

:uhoh: Bless her heart. :smh: Somebody needs to put the fear in yo azz. :nod:

P you going down with gasoline drawz on mane. :lol:

He sure in the hell is. Got a match? :uhoh: :emlaugh:
 
Good one. Now paint a red X on it with fingernail polish before you hang the next one. He just might move out of town....or be waiting to shoot your azz. :lmao:
 
Good one. Now paint a red X on it with fingernail polish before you hang the next one. He just might move out of town....or be waiting to shoot your azz. :lmao:

*takes notes* :devil2:

I'm finna' go home in a few... but, before I do, I'mmo leave one of those skeletons on my sister's husband's car. :devil2: lol

It's time to shake it up around hur. :)
 
*takes notes* :devil2:

I'm finna' go home in a few... but, before I do, I'mmo leave one of those skeletons on my sister's husband's car. :devil2: lol

It's time to shake it up around hur. :)

Panth, you keep it up and they're going to figure it out that it's you. They know these things hasnt been happening before you came, and now since you're back in town. :goof:
 
Panth, you keep it up and they're going to figure it out that it's you. They know these things hasnt been happening before you came, and now since you're back in town. :goof:

I seriously don't think they're that smart Black. Sad to say. :smh:

Man... I gotta' tell this whole story because the whole setup had me :confused: last night. I truly understand why growing up here they always said I was "different." Ok. I cooked some spaghetti and made a salad last evening, yah? Sounds simple enough. But unfortunately, it wasn't. :(

I don't THROW meat, tomato sauce, a lil' salt and a lil' pepper, w/ some GROUND BEEF in some pasta and let it all cook together. :lol: That's the "country" folx way of doing it and since I'm a lil' well travelled lol, I make it the way those folx across the water make it. Ditto for the "type" of salad I make. 1 pot that contained the meat sauce where I used FRESH tomatoes, garlic cloves, (red & green) bell pepper, onion (red & white), <b>turkey ground</b>, <b>turkey sausage (quartered)</b>, <b>olive oil</b>, and other various seasonings to "kick it up a notch." lol I boil the pasta and then DRAIN it and always put it in a bowl that contains a few shakes of garlic powder, <b>olive oil</b>, and <b>whipped butter that I make on the spot</b> (it's so good u could almost eat it by itself). Ditto for the garlic bread... I prepare it myself. And the type of salad I made was a tossed salad made primarily of iceberg and romaine lettuce w/ carrot strips, tomatoes, sprinkles of real bacon bits, 3 shredded cheeses, w/ a homemade honey-mustard salad dressing that contained <b>finely chopped peanuts</b>. lol It took a lil' while but I got'er done fairly decently as I multiplex like crazy so when momma, my youngest niece (13), and her hubby came in, the FIRST thing they said was... (this is how it went :shame: )

him: maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane what dat iz?
momma: it shole smell good... u always could cook
niece: :)
momma: *notices olive oil* <b>who blessing the kitchen?</b>
me: :confused: momma, i cook w/ olive oil.
momma: :what: that's what we use to bless people w/....u can cook w/ it? :confused:
me: :emlaugh: yeah! it ain't just for churech. :retard: :lol:
momma: :confused:
.
.
momma: :confused:
.
me: *smh* :smh:
.
him: *fixing plate as I explained the order of everything and where to find things since the garlicy french bread was still in the oven lol*
momma: :mad: Lee! :mad: :slap: U gotsta' put some PASTA on <b>TOP</b> of yo' SAUCE! Ain't no spaghetti in yonda! :mad:
him: :confused:
momma: U ain't got no spaghetti in your sauce man! :mad:
him: :confused:
momma: brang yo' plate ova' hur and get some pasta! See?! :mad:
him: :D Aw helllll....:lol: I ain't know... :lol:
momma: :mad:
him: What dis iz? :confused:
momma: :mad: It's SALAD! And thares tha' salad dressing right yonda'... and you <b>eat the peanuts for desert!</b>. ( :retard: i was :emlaugh: by this time for sure)
him: Ohhhhhhh.... :confused:
me: Naw momma. You sprinkle the peanuts on top of your salad and then add the dressing. :lol: :emlaugh: :bawling:
momma: :D Oh!
him: :confused:

*everybody sits down... and compliments on the meal, which I must say turned out nicely lol since I LOVE garlic and onions/bellpepper lol and then this happens... :emlaugh: *

him: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane... that shole wuz good! Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane let me tell ya' what happened tah me dis moanin!
me: :confused: ~snicker~ what man?
him: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane... somebody done put a <b>hoodoo</b> (w/ an "H" lol) on me and my new truck!
me: :emlaugh: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! (lil jon's voice)
him: YEAH! :D Somebody put a hoodoo on me! They put a <b>HUMAN BODY</b> on passa's car and then they put one on my truck dis moanin'!
momma: Shole did baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabeeeeeeeeeeeey.... they put a <b>skullaton</b> (lol :emlaugh: ) on Lee's truck!
him: Shole did! :D
me: :bawling: :emlaugh: :bawling: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWLLL!!!!
him: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid yes dey did! :D
momma: shole did! :D
me: :bawling: (damn near on the floor)
him: Let me go get it and show it to ya'!
me: :what:
momma: go git it baaaaaaaaaaaaabeeeeeeeey! :D
me: :emlaugh: :bawling:
him: *returns from the truck w/ the mini-skeleton* SEE! :D
me: What'chew do to somebody mane!
him: Well, "hobie" lol said that I had to <b>sprankle</b> some white flour on my truck and then do dis chant. And he also said I had to ride around w/ the <b>human body</b> w/ me alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll da' time.
me: :bawling: *i was LITERALLY on my back in the middle of the floor ROTFLMAO!*
momma: :D Carr' it wit'cha erry'where you go baaaabey!
him: I damned shole am! :D lol
me: *tears coming out of my eyes*
him: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddd... u'd betta' watch yo' truck! I notice somebody put a Bud Lite can in the back of your black'un.
me: *wiping tears away* yeah, i saw that. prolly the neighbor lol.
him: i'mmo catch whoever did dis... :D
me: i'mmo shoot'em.
him: me too! :D
me: :confused:
momma: dey ain't got no biznezz on our property!
me: :confused: :uhoh: lol

It went downhill from there as I cleaned up the kitchen and put up the food. lol

Y'all, I promise you, I was on my way out this a.m. and I looked over @ his "bright" "mark of the beast" lol truck and I saw a whoooooooooooole lotta' white stuff amidst (lol) his truck hood, driver's side front fender, and his driver's side door. lol I spooked his ayis. And it ain't over yet. :D

I didn't get a chance to leave one @ my sister's husbands car because this lil' short sawed off mofo lol followed me outside w/ all those boxes I had to carry. lol His time is coming. He's from the greater Beaumont area and they believe in that silly bullsh*t so he'll be a VERY easy target. :lol:

I'll get momma's husband again tomorrow. Except THIS time, I'm going to have the skeleton's right arm up in the air like he's pointing to him as he's about to open his door. :emlaugh:

Enjoy your day peeps. :)
 
:shame: :shame: :shame: & :lmao: You are going to heyal in a handbasket! :lmao:

:topic:

Um, when you gonna invite us womenfolk ova for dinner?
 
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