headache after headache after headache after headache
- Thread starter Tony
- Start date
Dr. Phreeze
It is I...Yes it is...
buckwheat
Well-Known Member
Tony there are a lot of positives in being married! Don't let the things you see on T.V. and the media fool you. If you're really married for the right reasons you will have a happy marriage.
There are many good reasons to get married. Here are some to consider as you wrestle with your own verdict on the topic:
http://www.essortment.com/lifestyle/reasonstoget_scea.htm
1. Companionship. Having someone with whom to talk, go places, and share trials is a priority goal for many people who are contemplating marriage. Life can be lonely when we trudge that path alone. But even the deepest sorrow can become manageable with a caring spouse by our side. Whether you work or stay home, sharing a household at night and on weekends can contribute to a sense of fulfillment in your personal and social areas. You need not worry how it will look to others if you go stag since you won't have to. And when you get ill, there will be someone to look after you.
2. Romance. Sure, you can get involved with someone without tying the knot. But how meaningful is that? Both parties know one or the other can give up on the relationship at a moment's notice, creating a sense of insecurity and tentativeness that many couples find uncomfortable. Statistics suggest that eighty percent of couples who live together before marriage will not make it to ten years afterward. The respect and commitment that come with a formal marriage can enhance the romantic value of the couple's relationship. It's fun to wake up with someone who has pledged their life to you, and vice versa. And it's great not having to feel guilty about stolen kisses or a late-night rendezvous.
3. Household support. Whether male or female, you are bound to appreciate the help you can get around the house from your spouse. After all, sharing a home means that both of you are invested in a future together. You both want clean, comfortable living space, and an attractive home where you can entertain family and friends. Sharing chores can create occasional conflict, but working through it builds individual character as well as relational unity.
4. Family. Raising a family together is perhaps the most intimate relationship of all. It's not easy to bring children into the world, get up at night when they're sick, find the money to pay for braces and college, and then eventually let them go out on their own, leaving you in the sole companionship of the person you began with, your spouse. Children need both a female and male influence; lacking one or the other may disrupt normal developmental patterns and social adjustment. While many single parents successfully raise healthy, successful children, generally it is easier and better to have two parents working together to achieve this goal.
5. Financial security. Most of us can financially support ourselves adequately if we have a job outside the home that pays sufficiently. But what happens when the company goes out of business or you develop a life-threatening illness that costs your job? While marrying for money is not an inspirational goal, it does help to know that within marriage, the couple can share assets and help each other through tough times, financial difficulties included.
After weighing these and other options, you may be able to come to a decision about whether you want to marry, and when you should do so. Enter marriage planning to give a hundred and ten percent, and seeking your spouse's well-being as much as, if not more than your own, and both of you may end up with marital bliss.
There are many good reasons to get married. Here are some to consider as you wrestle with your own verdict on the topic:
http://www.essortment.com/lifestyle/reasonstoget_scea.htm
1. Companionship. Having someone with whom to talk, go places, and share trials is a priority goal for many people who are contemplating marriage. Life can be lonely when we trudge that path alone. But even the deepest sorrow can become manageable with a caring spouse by our side. Whether you work or stay home, sharing a household at night and on weekends can contribute to a sense of fulfillment in your personal and social areas. You need not worry how it will look to others if you go stag since you won't have to. And when you get ill, there will be someone to look after you.
2. Romance. Sure, you can get involved with someone without tying the knot. But how meaningful is that? Both parties know one or the other can give up on the relationship at a moment's notice, creating a sense of insecurity and tentativeness that many couples find uncomfortable. Statistics suggest that eighty percent of couples who live together before marriage will not make it to ten years afterward. The respect and commitment that come with a formal marriage can enhance the romantic value of the couple's relationship. It's fun to wake up with someone who has pledged their life to you, and vice versa. And it's great not having to feel guilty about stolen kisses or a late-night rendezvous.
3. Household support. Whether male or female, you are bound to appreciate the help you can get around the house from your spouse. After all, sharing a home means that both of you are invested in a future together. You both want clean, comfortable living space, and an attractive home where you can entertain family and friends. Sharing chores can create occasional conflict, but working through it builds individual character as well as relational unity.
4. Family. Raising a family together is perhaps the most intimate relationship of all. It's not easy to bring children into the world, get up at night when they're sick, find the money to pay for braces and college, and then eventually let them go out on their own, leaving you in the sole companionship of the person you began with, your spouse. Children need both a female and male influence; lacking one or the other may disrupt normal developmental patterns and social adjustment. While many single parents successfully raise healthy, successful children, generally it is easier and better to have two parents working together to achieve this goal.
5. Financial security. Most of us can financially support ourselves adequately if we have a job outside the home that pays sufficiently. But what happens when the company goes out of business or you develop a life-threatening illness that costs your job? While marrying for money is not an inspirational goal, it does help to know that within marriage, the couple can share assets and help each other through tough times, financial difficulties included.
After weighing these and other options, you may be able to come to a decision about whether you want to marry, and when you should do so. Enter marriage planning to give a hundred and ten percent, and seeking your spouse's well-being as much as, if not more than your own, and both of you may end up with marital bliss.
you say "take my time" like you eventually will get married.
What is the reason why you will get married?
buckwheat
Well-Known Member
Some people are not really committed in the marriage. Take Tiger, Shaq and you average Joes for instance who are out here cheating. They're just married for their image or their own personal gain.
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
Good answer Buck. Having been married and now dating...dating don't even come close to what marriage afforded.
In my opinion, marriage gonna show you what you're REALLY made of...and a lot of folks don't want to risk the exposure of folks seeing who they really are. :lol:
In my opinion, marriage gonna show you what you're REALLY made of...and a lot of folks don't want to risk the exposure of folks seeing who they really are. :lol:
CriTAUcal
Do Good; Good Follows
Fortitude
Sybarite
:tup:There it is... And though they'd never say/admit it - they know they aren't shti & don't WANT to even try to be better (as a person!)
image or personal gain WOW!!!
I would only get married if I really loved the person.
what I'm Really made of? How is marriage gonna show that?
tell me about the beautiful part.
yvette23
New Member
Very good response; but to be honest, I don't why you even wasted your time typing this up.
:lol: Hell, if they thank marriage is for the birds or they are being discouraged from getting married in the future, then let them continue to feel that way.....shid, they probably doing women a favor anyway. :tup:
jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
I will, it is inevitable. I want to be able to share my life with someone and raise kids one day. Sometimes it is good to have a person their to support you and vica versa. I can honestly say that if it was not for my current girlfriend, I probably wouldn't be in DC right now or doing what I am doing now.
You know last summer when Gas hit $4 a gallon and food went up, it got real rough for me. My air mattress busted and I couldn't afford to buy a bed so I slept on the floor for a month or two. She flew down, slept on the floor with me a few times and never complained. I feel like she deserves at least a chance for us to try and make it to that level...
Fortitude
Sybarite
:clap: :tup:Very good response; but to be honest, I don't why you even wasted your time typing this up.
Hell, if they thank marriage is for the birds or they are being discouraged from getting married in the future, then let them continue to feel that way.....shid, they probably doing women a favor anyway. :tup:
Buck you see how angry people get when you start talkin' bout marriage.
This so-called "beautiful thing"
The marriage rate is not going down, so people keep doing it, but
the divorce rate is going up.
Something is happening in all these marriages, to make them fail.
and I bet it's a common theme, but no one wants to say what it is.
So we can learn from it, and make the world better.
We are all too embarrassed or caught up in “stay outta my businessâ€
This so-called "beautiful thing"
The marriage rate is not going down, so people keep doing it, but
the divorce rate is going up.
Something is happening in all these marriages, to make them fail.
and I bet it's a common theme, but no one wants to say what it is.
So we can learn from it, and make the world better.
We are all too embarrassed or caught up in “stay outta my businessâ€
This is Great and I imagine most marriages start out great like this,
but you ever wonder why all these divorces occur?
You can look @ wedding pictures, kids, youtube, etc etc.
then years later those people are not even married to each other anymore.
millions of divorces every year I'm just asking why?
I started out asking what was the good part about marriage
and so far only you and Buck could come up with something.
And you're not even married...wow!!!
CriTAUcal
Do Good; Good Follows
You're sharing your life with someone who you feel so deeply about. You're giving your love, heart and body to that one person who brings you joy and makes you a better person, because you're not just thinking about yourself anymore. You're with someone you're totally comfortable with, and it's OK to let your guards down. It's great companionship. Someone you can openly share your dreams and fears without being judged. It's comforting. And then it just feels so good to come home to someone. And when the communication is there consistently, that person is your best friend, the person at the foremost of your thoughts (or one of the first until children enter the picture). He/she is your biggest cheerleader for your career and any other aspirations. That support is matchless to any other person in your life.
It can be the most intense connection emotionally and physically. It can be so beautiful. It just doesn't come easily all the time; that's why you gotta work at it and be on one accord to want to work at it.
ok ok this IS good.
Now when two people feel like this about each other.
When they have touched and felt this,
Then why would anyone want to leave this situation??
CriTAUcal
Do Good; Good Follows
We're a selfish, quick-fix generation-- both men and women. If we can't get what we want with fast-enough results/satisfaction, it's easier to just dip.
People also stop communicating and mutual respect just dissolves. It's easy to lose sight of the person you fell in love with when you stop talking and stop doing what you did to get that person. Marriage is work and like a plant that needs nurturing. If you neglect a plant, it dies. So do marriages when you don't tend to it on the regular. And both people have to put in work to keep it healthy.
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Fortitude
Sybarite
As long as NEITHER of you are SELF-CENTERED... SELFISH... ONLY THINKS OF YOUR SELF... ONLY CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO DO... ONLY SEES THINGS AS HAVING TO GO YOUR WAY... ONLY WANTS TO MEET YOUR NEEDS... ONLY SEES YOUR SPOUSE AS HAVING TO REVOLVE AROUND EVERYTHING THAT IS YOU... & you both have common sense enough to ALWAYS effectively COMMUNICATE w/each other... you guys will make it.
:kiss:
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CriTAUcal
Do Good; Good Follows
At some point, we stop doing the things we once did to keep the marriage fresh. Once those things stop, things can get sour. And then there are those who marry for the wrong reasons, so the foundation was never solid to begin with.
First thank you for telling me some good things about marriage, which originally is what this thread was tryin' to
find out.
Secondly, "this watering the plant thing" this must be the mistake millions of people make. Now is this the only mistake or all there other things
taking these marriages out?
Oh and we read all the time about the uGly side of marriage,
and I know you 're married..I think you're STILL married...hard to tell from your post sometimes, but
do you feel personally that it's worth the risk?
buckwheat
Well-Known Member
Bruh, go to your FACEBOOK page and proclaim your love for the lady you're dating! :lol: If you truely care for the person and she feels the same way about you, you should consider being married if you both have the same dreams and aspirations.
XHALE9802
GRANDEUR...
Hell, if they thank marriage is for the birds or they are being discouraged from getting married in the future, then let them continue to feel that way.....shid, they probably doing women a favor anyway. :tup:
I don't agree with that. as a single woman never been married seeing every other marriage lead into divorce, you can't help but be discouraged. I can understand why some men can be discouraged also, and if they are ones who truly want to be married, I don't think its doing any woman a favor, and vice versa. There are women out there who are equally discouraged and fearful about taking that step. If they really want to be married one day, I don't want anyone, male or female continuing to feel that way. I can respect the fear of it, because I have it, look at the statistics...i have a right to be, and so do they.
I thinks that's one of the problems,
People gettin' married just cause they want to.
And from what crit is posting
SHe's saying I should not only marry somebody that's doing it right today.
But I have to think about if they'll STILL be doing it right
years & years from NOW....wow!!
People gettin' married just cause they want to.
And from what crit is posting
SHe's saying I should not only marry somebody that's doing it right today.
But I have to think about if they'll STILL be doing it right
years & years from NOW....wow!!