Are Black Women Scaring Off Their Men?


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Tony said:
But your History has everything to do with me, if I wanna "roll" with you. We are a combination of our genes & experiences. Experiences contribute to our make-up. If I can understand your experiences
I can better understand you. And furthermore, I agree, I shouldn?t feel the wrath from some other dude,
But I want you to show me the wounds, tell me where it hurts, Because I AM here to heal.
Being a healer is who I AM. I will do way more than empathize.

This is not different from what I am saying. Just don't hold me responsible for your history. Educate me on it, but don't penalize me for it.
 
Tony said:
But your History has everything to do with me, if I wanna "roll" with you. We are a combination of our genes & experiences. Experiences contribute to our make-up. If I can understand your experiences
I can better understand you. And furthermore, I agree, I shouldn?t feel the wrath from some other dude,
But I want you to show me the wounds, tell me where it hurts, Because I AM here to heal.
Being a healer is who I AM. I will do way more than empathize.


YES INDEED Mr. Protector and Provider!
 
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Tony said:
But your History has everything to do with me, if I wanna "roll" with you. We are a combination of our genes & experiences. Experiences contribute to our make-up. If I can understand your experiences
I can better understand you. And furthermore, I agree, I shouldn?t feel the wrath from some other dude,
But I want you to show me the wounds, tell me where it hurts, Because I AM here to heal.
Being a healer is who I AM. I will do way more than empathize.



Wow Tony... your deep.
 
J4J said:
JILL SCOTT LYRICS

"The Fact Is (I Need You)"

I can pay my own light bill baby
Pump my own gas in my own car
I can buy my own shoe collection
I've been blessed thus far
I can kill the spider above my bed
Although it's hard because I'm scared
I can even stain and polyurethane
But some things just don't change
I need you yeah
Sometimes so hard to say oh
I need you
Some things remain
I could buy my own groceries baby
Get my hair tight, my nails right
I can floss my own bling bling
Write the words to the songs I sing
I can even raise the child we'll make
Make sure he's loved and knows what God gave us
I can teach him how to walk and stand
But he needs you to help him be a man
We need you
So hard to say
We need you
Some things don't change
I could be congresswoman
Or a garbage woman or
Police officer, or a carpenter
I could be a doctor and a lawyer and a mother and a good girl
God what you've done to me
Kind of lover I could be
I could be a computer analyst, the Queen with the nappy hair raising her fist
Or I could be much more and a myriad of this
Hot as the summer, sweet as the first kiss
And even though I can do all these things
I need you
And even though I can do all these things
We need you
We need you
We need you
And even though I can do all these things by my damn self
I need you
I do, I do, I do, I do
And even though I can do all these things
I need you
We need you
We do
We need you yeah
We need you

:idea:
 
Tony said:
But your History has everything to do with me, if I wanna "roll" with you. We are a combination of our genes & experiences. Experiences contribute to our make-up. If I can understand your experiences
I can better understand you. And furthermore, I agree, I shouldn?t feel the wrath from some other dude,
But I want you to show me the wounds, tell me where it hurts, Because I AM here to heal.
Being a healer is who I AM. I will do way more than empathize.

I :read: a "Tony" post.
 
Tony said:
I love hard


Thats really good. Some people are afraid to do that. Some black women are afraid of loving hard. Its easier to gravel in what is successful in there lives then to think about the lack of true love. And it goes the same for men too.
 
Bottom line, we must support each other. Men shouldn't feel intimidated by our success and intelligence. If they see a woman that has her stuff together(good job, nice ride, house etc.) they shouldn't have the attitude that they can't buy her anything cause she looks and acts as though she has everything. A woman needs to be complimented, encouraged, pampered and basically loved. Is chilvary dead or still alive? As J4J posted the Jill Scott lyrics, basically, the fact is we need you. Some of my friends scare off good men because they don't have a Denzel face or a body like Will Smith or a good salary. If a man treats you like a queen, supports yu during your accolades/pitfalls, and can take care of you in case you become disabled, then that's love indeed.
 
da_caramel_diva said:
Thats really good. Some people are afraid to do that. Some black women are afraid of loving hard. Its easier to gravel in what is successful in there lives then to think about the lack of true love. And it goes the same for men too.
Love is a many Splendid thing,
So complicated, yet So good.
Use your brain, but allow your heart room to breathe.
You may have never seen them, but
Little miracles happen everyday?..
 
jag4life said:
History, huh? I think most on here know how I feel about past relationship history. It has NOTHING to do with me. That is YOUR issue and YOU should use it for your own learning experience. I don't need feel the wrath of what some other dude did to you. I will empathize and you can tell me about it, but that's it.

Man, you made me think about Musiq Solchild's song "Previous Cats." This is one of my favorite Musiq songs, it didn't get no airplay, but it pretty much sums up what you're talking about.

Previous Cats

First things first girl recognize
Who is wit you now
Second thing, can't blame me for
How you were treated before I came see
I'm not Steven, Anthony even, Leroy or Ivan
Damn girl I've been right there for you
Since day one, so where's all this coming from

See now I'm not to blame for the pain
That was caused by previous cats, yeah
Who had your heart before me, girl no
I'm not to blame for the pain
That was caused by previous cats
You gotta see me for me

Now what is with all the questioning about
Where I've been and why must you roll your eyes
When I say she's just a friend I knew before
Not like I call you Sabrina, Pam or Tanisha
Andrea either. Girl we go deeper then any other
I had before so tell me why you ignore.

Now I don't know (I don't know)
What them young boys did (what them young boys did)
To make you insecure, but I think you need to let it go
(Let it go) don't let your past get all in the way
Cause what is here today may not be guaranteed tomorrow
I'm not out of line just speaking my mind when I say that I
I put in to much time for another's brother's crimes.


NICE
 
Tony said:
But your History has everything to do with me, if I wanna "roll" with you. We are a combination of our genes & experiences. Experiences contribute to our make-up. If I can understand your experiences
I can better understand you. And furthermore, I agree, I shouldn?t feel the wrath from some other dude,
But I want you to show me the wounds, tell me where it hurts, Because I AM here to heal.
Being a healer is who I AM. I will do way more than empathize.
Tony,

I told you, a long time ago, that most brothers on here, are on some different schitt...they are not ready for you.

You better preach on, brother, preach on. :lecture: :tup: :lecture:
 
J4J said:
:sick:

<font color=blue size=4>Question for THE BLACK MEN:

What does it do for a man, a BLACK MAN, if I say I NEED YOU?

Why is a black woman who is accomplished demeaning YOU if she states something she's done and give me a scenario other than conversations like THESE where a woman is always talking about herself? How did a man marry a woman, whom he did not know talked so much about herself and her accomplishments?

Thanks for serious replies only!

BTW: Derrick, I agree with what you said but have questions regarding it. </font>:tup:

I think CEE DOG, NTELKT, and Toney pretty much summed up my response.

NICE
 
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LoyalTigress said:
Bottom line, we must support each other. Men shouldn't feel intimidated by our success and intelligence. If they see a woman that has her stuff together(good job, nice ride, house etc.) they shouldn't have the attitude that they can't buy her anything cause she looks and acts as though she has everything. A woman needs to be complimented, encouraged, pampered and basically loved. Is chilvary dead or still alive? As J4J posted the Jill Scott lyrics, basically, the fact is we need you. Some of my friends scare off good men because they don't have a Denzel face or a body like Will Smith or a good salary. If a man treats you like a queen, supports yu during your accolades/pitfalls, and can take care of you in case you become disabled, then that's love indeed.
another great post...:tup:

The only thing I'll add to this, is a woman has to BE READY FOR THIS TYPE OF MAN. Just b/c he's good for her, doesn't mean she'll be ready to accept him. People have to deal w/their issues in their own time. You can't force something that's not genuine and natural.
 
D-NICE said:
Man, you made me think about Musiq Solchild's song "Previous Cats." This is one of my favorite Musiq songs, it didn't get no airplay, but it pretty much sums up what you're talking about.

NICE

That was one of my favorite songs too. It made me think for a minute. I don't think I punish men for the mistakes that another man has made. I do know that I adjust the way i interact with men though. If I keep getting treated a certain way with every I deal with, the only constant is me.
 
Warndalyn said:
The only thing I'll add to this, is a woman has to BE READY FOR THIS TYPE OF MAN. Just b/c he's good for her, doesn't mean she'll be ready to accept him. People have to deal w/their issues in their own time. You can't force something that's not genuine and natural.

♪♪Knowing love the way I do
I can say for certain that it's true♪♪♪
.....
When you take the chance on love you see
It's not a waste of time if you truly believe
The impossible can be
So hold on tight if you think you're right
'Cause nothing hurts as bad as when you see
You gave up too easily♪♪♪
 
LoyalTigress said:
Bottom line, we must support each other. Men shouldn't feel intimidated by our success and intelligence. If they see a woman that has her stuff together(good job, nice ride, house etc.) they shouldn't have the attitude that they can't buy her anything cause she looks and acts as though she has everything. A woman needs to be complimented, encouraged, pampered and basically loved. Is chilvary dead or still alive? As J4J posted the Jill Scott lyrics, basically, the fact is we need you. Some of my friends scare off good men because they don't have a Denzel face or a body like Will Smith or a good salary. If a man treats you like a queen, supports yu during your accolades/pitfalls, and can take care of you in case you become disabled, then that's love indeed.


Who's intimidated?! It just depends on who you decided to settle down with. It's nice that you have a career, but that's not what defines you as a person. I guess some women like to be in a position of power when it comes to a man so they will use ANYTHING as leverage. :smh:
 
Warndalyn said:
Tony,

I told you, a long time ago, that most brothers on here, are on some different schitt...they are not ready for you.

You better preach on, brother, preach on. :lecture: :tup: :lecture:

you made my face turn red.
 
well, I guess it's pretty safe to say, that this one can now be moved, to the HOF. :nod:

Vinita, Fiyah, SOG, somebody move it on ova.
 
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