jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
Worst question to ask. Man, the more you know, the more that isht will play out in your head. Real talk, if I think I want to work it out, I will not be asking anything but who, when, and MAYBE why.
Can a realtionship survive cheating and become stronger?
- Thread starter CEE DOG
- Start date
Worst question to ask. Man, the more you know, the more that isht will play out in your head. Real talk, if I think I want to work it out, I will not be asking anything but who, when, and MAYBE why.
SUJagFan
Well-Known Member
I think it's possible to be monogamous. I know that I have never cheated on my girlfriends, fiancées or my wife. Not once.
However, I think you do bring up a good point. Since cheating is so prevalent, I would think a realistic person would be aware that it happens and have an effective strategy for dealing with it. I remember reading somewhere that Europeans don't view cheating the way we do. They don't view it as a deal breaker or go through all of the trauma that we do. Maybe the problem is how we look at cheating.
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SUJagFan
Well-Known Member
:lol:
Well, I'm not justifying cheating. I'm just saying that it happens and maybe we need a better way of dealing with that reality.
Should it automatically mean the end of a relationship? Would removing the "cheating" terminology and replacing it with just your mate having a couple of orgasms on the side remove some of the sting? Would a change in thinking keep our marriages together? That's what I'm getting at.
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Well, I'm not justifying cheating. I'm just saying that it happens and maybe we need a better way of dealing with that reality.
Should it automatically mean the end of a relationship? Would removing the "cheating" terminology and replacing it with just your mate having a couple of orgasms on the side remove some of the sting? Would a change in thinking keep our marriages together? That's what I'm getting at.
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Tpop33
Well-Known Member
To answer Cee's original question, yes relationships can survive any cheating, it just depends on the people involved.
The real question is, what was/is the reason for cheating?
Sex? Emotion? Money?
And dont tell me with men its always sex and with women its always emotion.
The real question is, what was/is the reason for cheating?
Sex? Emotion? Money?
And dont tell me with men its always sex and with women its always emotion.
96lioness
QUEEN LIONESS!!!
I'm with SUJagFan on this one Pops; I think it is possible to be monogamous. But you are correct in saying it takes deep religious conviction to accomplish this and it can be accomplished. Otherwise, Jesus would not have said what He did in Matthew 19:5-6 or in Mark 10:9. Marriage is a Holy Union, a vow taken before God and man. Just because you have to work hard at making a real, honest, committed effort to uphold your vows does not mean it cannot be accomplished or that you can't be monogamous.
I don't think our bodies have anything to do with monogamy; it's like you said...."mindset". If you have in your mind to do/not do something, it's imprinted, it's embedded.
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jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
I respectfully disagree with you about the body. I think by nature, we are sexually attracted to multiple people.
CEE DOG
Well-Known Member
Bingo. Lust is a mofo. Therefore if you have lust in your heart, you have fornicated.
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
Survive? Yes. Grow stronger...now this I don't believe. Nobody is in 100% in the relationship after that. Always watching, looking...waiting. Honestly, I think its a waste of good time. You'll never give yourself the same way, wondering if they are comparing/thinking/wondering about that other person. I think once you know, its hard to put back on those rose colored glasses and see them the same way.
So, yes, you can have a "new normal" but will it EVER be as good as it once was? I don't believe so. Real and pure trumps broken and put back together IMO.
So, yes, you can have a "new normal" but will it EVER be as good as it once was? I don't believe so. Real and pure trumps broken and put back together IMO.
96lioness
QUEEN LIONESS!!!
No prob.
Our minds are not controlled by our bodies......it is our bodies that often respond to the thoughts and functions of our mind. God created man to have only one penis to use with one woman during a sexual liasion......He created woman to have only one vagina to allow one man inside during sex. If our bodies were not designed to be monogamous, they would be created as such by Him. He created Adam and Eve, not Adam, Eve, and Becky (or Adam, Steve, and Eve). Yes, men are sexually attracted to women, women sexually attracted to men....but that is the mind triggering our senses, stimulating our senses. We don't have to always act on what stimulates us, however.
That's just my opinion.
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jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
Neither are our bodies controlled by our minds. There are natural reactions in the body that take place without us ever thinking about it. Women naturally react to certain chemicals men release when they sweat, etc.. The male body is programmed to mate with as many people as possible to ensure the survival of the human race. We both know this is no longer the case but the body is programmed to do so and there is science to back it up. Personally, I think there is a constant battle between the two. I also am a very strong believer in the Sigmund Freud theories of the subconscious mind. We learn to suppress things. Up until 100 years ago, most grown men married 12-14 year old girls, now that is considered pedophilia. What kept the trend going for so long, there had to be some natural attraction in the mind.
I believe the beauty of Christianity is the submission of the will of man to the will of God.
God designed sex to be enjoyed within a committed marital relationship. To remove it from that context is to pervert its use and severely limit its enjoyment. Sexual contact involves a level of intimacy not experienced in any other human relationship.
Look at what is written in scripture:“You should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; (pre-marital sex, adultery, masturbation, homosexual acts) that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.” “For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7).
Yeah, procreation is part of man's survival. But that act should only take place between those who are married. Man just can't go all Derek Jeter. LOL
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jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
You are mixing the too. I am saying that the body's natural will and the will of God are not the same. The body is not programed internally to mate with one person. If so, we would only be sexually attracted with one person. God wants us to suppress our natural will for his will. There is a reason it says we are born into sin.
ToPdOg
Well-Known Member
I see what you're saying, but once a person cheats, and it becomes known that they cheated, the couple can then address the underlying problems in the marriage/relationship that lead to the cheating in the first place. Sometimes it takes a jolt or a kick in the ass for certain problems to be addressed. Often time, cheating is that jolt. Once those problems that lead to the cheating are addressed, I can see how a relationship can grow stronger. It won't work for all, but I see how it can work for some once the trust is reestablished.
DallasCowboyGirl
The Olympian
Interesting if guys truly believe this bull^^^there, then why is that women are precieved to be hoe's & sluts when they are out having there needs met?
CEE DOG
Well-Known Member
Everyone doesn't believe in the bible. You all have to learn to have a conversation without scriptures.
CEE DOG
Well-Known Member
DCG, only boys think that way. A man realizes women are just like him, except with gold. What is old to one, is new to another. Boys never learn that until they are showed the truth. Men understand that from the beginning. It ain't his to give away or keep it closed.
jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
I don't think that...
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
That's not ever gonna happen. They may try to at first, fake it later, but truly reestablished...:smh: :smh: :smh:.
SUJagFan
Well-Known Member
jsupop33
Loyalty & Respect
We think all of mankind acts and behaves like us. We tend to assume that everyone has the same choices and amenities that we do. We tend to believe that American society behavioral norms are the world's behavioral norms when it could be further from the truth. I find a lot of Americans to be closedminded, particularly black people. We don't like to challenge our own beliefs.