Can a realtionship survive cheating and become stronger?

[SU Jag 79]

I still say you're very naive.

Life is not that idealistic. Not that cut and dried. It's not always black and white.

After a man has been Mr. Jody a time or ten, our perspective changes. Our insight into relationships and infidelity changes.

I can tell you that why a woman cheats may not be that simple anymore. The family situation may not be that easy to break up - special needs child for example. The husband could be totally unaware and clueless for years. Why should suddenly becoming aware of a situation mean that he shouldn't work on saving his marriage? Lastly, there is a such thing as forgiveness. You're such a nice guy, how can you say at this point that you would not forgive what may have been a momentary indiscretion? You can't. Women are not rational the way we are.

It's naive to say what you will do before that time arrives because you really don't know. You don't know.

That's not naive. I don't want to be or have ever been someone's Jody. What applies to her applies to me too. I know what I feel today and that's all I can go on, BUT I don't see myself trusting someone who just misused by trust and possibly brought danger to my family in a manner of speaking.

And I don't really care about women being rational or irrational. They can play you saying you didn't know what they were thinking .... horseh&t! We all have the sense to know what's wrong and what's right and when someone lays out their list of sh&t you don't do, you either conform or move on.

To me, that's what's wrong in society .... we don't take marriage serious enough ... You're telling me I should take my marriage serious enough to try and save it AFTER my wife went out, under momentary disress or lust, and forgot to take it seriously? That doesn't make sense. What's good for me is good for her too. If I can sit at my job, see 20 and 30 year old beautiful women who physically might equal my fiancee and be attainable and still come home every night to her, SHE can do the same damn thing.

To me, you just provided a bullsh&t excuse for women when there is NONE.

 

[SU Jag 79]

I still say you're very naive.

Life is not that idealistic. Not that cut and dried. It's not always black and white.

After a man has been Mr. Jody a time or ten, our perspective changes. Our insight into relationships and infidelity changes.

I can tell you that why a woman cheats may not be that simple anymore. The family situation may not be that easy to break up - special needs child for example. The husband could be totally unaware and clueless for years. Why should suddenly becoming aware of a situation mean that he shouldn't work on saving his marriage? Lastly, there is a such thing as forgiveness. You're such a nice guy, how can you say at this point that you would not forgive what may have been a momentary indiscretion? You can't. Women are not rational the way we are.

It's naive to say what you will do before that time arrives because you really don't know. You don't know.

Did the woman know about all of these issues in the marriage too? That's why there is no excuse. If you know these things going in, DON'T GO IN. Life is simple .... we are the ones that mess sh&t up and then react the wrong way and wonder why life is so damn hard.

 

[Tpop33]

I still say you're very naive.

Life is not that idealistic. Not that cut and dried. It's not always black and white.

After a man has been Mr. Jody a time or ten, our perspective changes. Our insight into relationships and infidelity changes.

I can tell you that why a woman cheats may not be that simple anymore. The family situation may not be that easy to break up - special needs child for example. The husband could be totally unaware and clueless for years. Why should suddenly becoming aware of a situation mean that he shouldn't work on saving his marriage? Lastly, there is a such thing as forgiveness. You're such a nice guy, how can you say at this point that you would not forgive what may have been a momentary indiscretion? You can't. Women are not rational the way we are.

It's naive to say what you will do before that time arrives because you really don't know. You don't know.

Famous last words, "I would never......., until faced with a situation you'd never know what you would or would not do!

 

[SUJagFan]

SU Jag 79, you're about to get married.

Whether you know it or not, you're about to compromise on a lot of things. Forgive a lot of things. Sure, you can draw the line in the sand at cheating but that doesn't mean that you will. If you truly love your wife, and I believe you do, you really don't know what you'll do. The situation may be such that you can forgive her and move on. You never know.

Love covers a multitude of sins. I Peter 4:8. Remember that.

 

[unknown]

If it couldn't survive cheating I think the divorce rate would probably be sitting around 80% right now. :emlaugh: Hell it's already at or above 50% even with those that do forgive.

 

[SU Jag 79]

SU Jag 79, you're about to get married.

Whether you know it or not, you're about to compromise on a lot of things. Forgive a lot of things. Sure, you can draw the line in the sand at cheating but that doesn't mean that you will. If you truly love your wife, and I believe you do, you really don't know what you'll do. The situation may be such that you can forgive her and move on. You never know.

Love covers a multitude of sins. I Peter 4:8. Remember that.

Exodus 20:17 .... I'm sure you know it ... You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”

Nothing wrong with compromising and forgiving .... but that is OVER the line. I never said I wouldn't forgive her .... I just can't be WITH her. God also teaches us to have sense for ourselves.