Naming kids after corporate brand names

[MUMFORD]

Fun with Festiva and Celica
The corporate name game: Branding for children

By Bill Mann, CBS MarketWatch.com


FORESTVILLE, Calif. (CBS.MW) -- Recent news item: More and more American couples are naming babies after their favorite products.

That's right: Branded babies.

If you already haven't, you may soon be hearing things at the playground and at the mall like: "Lexus - stop hitting Infinity!" Or, "Yo, Celica. Wassup?" This trend cuts across all socio-economic lines. It's the latest milestone in the corporate-izing of America.

I got a taste of this when, as a TV critic, I was invited to attend a taping of "The Price Is Right" at CBS Television City in Hollywood. One of the shrieking female contestants summoned to "Come on down!" was named -- I kid you not -- Aqua Netta. Yes, like the hair spray. A great product tie-in for the show, however.

One San Francisco friend says there's already a Honeywell and a Harley at his kid's pre-school.

See rest of article (requires free access to CBS Market Watch) http://cbs.marketwatch.com/news/pri...E-DBA0-45F9-BBA1-7F61BC4CFAB8}&siteid=myyahoo

 

[jag4life]

I know an Aquanetta that lives in Houston. We used to attend the same church. She is not a youngin either...

 

[MUMFORD]

Continued.............

TRANSPORTATION: Advertisers know that consumers have always closely identified emotionally with their choice of vehicles. Why shouldn't this be reflected on baby's birth certificate?

Girls: Festiva, Maxima, Sentra, Chevelle, Acura, Infiniti, Altima, Passat, Caprice, Previa, Escort.

Boys: Beemer, Turbo, Navigator, Blazer, Wrangler, Silverado, Escalade, Vanagon, Protege, Camry, Camaro, Galant.

Unisex: Hummer.

FINANCIAL SERVICES: With parents today so focused on investments with an eye to building retirement and baby's college funds, why shouldn't children's names reflect this?

Girls: Scudder, Altria, Aetna, Agilent , Fidelity, Lucent, Agere, Penney, Navistar, Wendy, Morgan, Equity, Providian.

Boys: Pimco, Putnam, Magellan, Homestake, Nasdaq, Intel, Chubb-y, Diebold, Janus, Hercules, Lord Abbott, PepBoy.

Unisex: Merrill.

FOOD/WINE: It's important today that youngsters reflect their parents' discriminating lifestyle and marketplace choices. A few suggestions in the area of consumables:

Girls: Torani, Korbelle, Evian, Kahlua, Poupon, Olestra, Aquafina.

Boys: Gallo, Progresso, Chivas, Perrier, Starbuck, Moet, Beringer, Stoly, Wolfgang, Arrowhead, Boboli, Cragmont, Snackwell.

Downmarket: Dunkin', Bud, Two-Buck Chuck, Beano.

HIGH TECH/CONSUMER ELECTRONICS: In today's wired world, where networked parents can check in on junior via picturephone, why shouldn't the names of their offspring reflect this 24/7 connectedness?

Girls: Mozilla, Motorola, Juniper, Tetris, Pixel, Toshiba, Blackberry, Handspring, Xbox, Gateway, Adobe, Nokia, Amazon, Nextelle, Playstation.

Boys: Epson, Siemens, TiVo, Google, Madden, Mac, Drudge, Compaq, Hewlett (or simply "H.P"), Redhat, "Gig," Oracle, Presario. Also: Celeron, Norton, Slashdot, Nintendo, Pentium, Atari, N.T., Linksys, and Gameboy.

Downmarket: Yahoo.

CONSUMER DURABLES: When selecting a name that your new bundle of joy will carry throughout life, I think we all agree that one should take at least as much care as one does at the local supermarket or big-box.:

Girls: Cottonelle, Frigidaire, Sunbeam, Charmin, Panasonique, Clairol, Olay, KitchenAid, Cuisinart, Amana, Jenn-Air, Zirconia.

Boys: Timex, Rolex, Casio, Krups, Snapper, Goodyear, Brawney, Craftsman, Weber, Michelin, Bose, Dirtdevil, Oreck, Yard-Man.

Unisex: Hoover

Downmarket: Toastmaster

CLOTHING: "You are what you wear," someone very famous once said (not sure, but it may have been Kathy Ireland). Since many consumers wouldn't think of going out in public without sporting their favorite brands, the same should also be true of their future consumers now in "petite" sizes:

Girls: Gap, Patagonia, L'Eggs, Danskin, Prada, Chanel, Lauren, Nordstrom, Lacoste, Billabong, Playtex.

Boys: Armani, Nike, Versace, Bauer, Levi, Calvin, Hilfiger, Polo, Timberland, Bum.

Downmarket: Goodwill, Yardsale.

PHARMACEUTICALS: And finally, all those clever drug-company coinages are especially suitable for humans. Among those you might wish to consider naming your child after - or, you could "ask your doctor" about:

Girls: Levitra, Allegra, Plavix, Claritin, Pharmacia, Thorazine. Also: Clarinex, Aleve, Ephedra, Percocette, Sominex, Primatene -- and Primatene Mist.

And Viagra? Don't even consider it. Too many bad jokes.

Boys: Dimetap, Vicodin, Pfizer, Prilosec, Actifed, Tylenol, Zyrtec, Midol, Lipitor, Robitussin, Nexium.

Unisex: Motrin, Cialis.

Downmarket: Scalpicin.