M
Mighty Dog
Guest
Based on the opinion you expressed, I hope this is not the mind set of many single people. Two people will never be ready to get married. There is no such thing as being ready to get married.
Marriage Proposal
- Thread starter short_1
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Based on the opinion you expressed, I hope this is not the mind set of many single people. Two people will never be ready to get married. There is no such thing as being ready to get married.
M
Mighty Dog
Guest
When one gives an opinion, facts are not necessary, but if you attempt to discuss being ready you must leave opinion out of the discussion.
There is no such thing as being ready.
Maybe you ought to look at the term CONDITION rather than being ready. For example, Love is just a condition of a marriage. But most people get married on what they think is Love and never learn what true love is about. On a scale of 1-10 most people think it is about a 10 when it is actually a 3 or 4.
There is no such thing as being ready.
Maybe you ought to look at the term CONDITION rather than being ready. For example, Love is just a condition of a marriage. But most people get married on what they think is Love and never learn what true love is about. On a scale of 1-10 most people think it is about a 10 when it is actually a 3 or 4.
truthteller
The Critic
I see the topic of this thread has taken a turn. lol Hmmmm..
Oh well... Since yall took it there. Just know that the bottom line to all of this is that you have to "Be Sure." The song in my signature will put anyone who's dating or contemplating marriage in the right thought process. Check it out....
Oh well... Since yall took it there. Just know that the bottom line to all of this is that you have to "Be Sure." The song in my signature will put anyone who's dating or contemplating marriage in the right thought process. Check it out....
M
Mighty Dog
Guest
truthteller, what does BE SURE have to do with anything?
When two people are joined together, you still have two independent minds. One cannot read or understand the mindset of another.
Who makes the proposal is not an issue and never will be.
When two people are joined together, you still have two independent minds. One cannot read or understand the mindset of another.
Who makes the proposal is not an issue and never will be.
Warndalyn
Postmaster General!!!
Great posts MD, you've put a whole nutha twist on thangs. This is a topic that one will never really get conclusions to or agree upon. Everyone has his/her own opinions on it and will do WTF they want to in the end anyway.
Now all you single fellas need to go out and propose to your woman and get married. :swink: :nod: :swink:
Now all you single fellas need to go out and propose to your woman and get married. :swink: :nod: :swink:
truthteller
The Critic
MightDog..... DUH!
What I'm saying is...... Regardless to all that stuff you've said, when it comes down to it, both parties have to "Be Sure." That's all it is to it. Take it or leave it.
What I'm saying is...... Regardless to all that stuff you've said, when it comes down to it, both parties have to "Be Sure." That's all it is to it. Take it or leave it.
Vinita
Let's Go Lions, GO!
No one is ever 100% sure of anything at any given time with regards to marriage.
I wouldn't have said I was 100% sure that I was ready to be married on October 11, 1998. There are too many risks involved to be 100% sure you're ready to be (and stay) married.
It helps to be 100% willing to take the risks involved with taking such a big step.
I wouldn't have said I was 100% sure that I was ready to be married on October 11, 1998. There are too many risks involved to be 100% sure you're ready to be (and stay) married.
It helps to be 100% willing to take the risks involved with taking such a big step.
Warndalyn
Postmaster General!!!
And to answer the original question again..the man should propose
That's the thing....marriage is just that, a risk.....and a mighty big one I might add. One must be willing to play russian roulet and do the damn thang. If you're a compromising person, you'll probably stay married w/o much grief. But most peeps are not willing to deal with others habits and/or bullisht for too long. It's just not that much love and patience in the world anymore.
That's the thing....marriage is just that, a risk.....and a mighty big one I might add. One must be willing to play russian roulet and do the damn thang. If you're a compromising person, you'll probably stay married w/o much grief. But most peeps are not willing to deal with others habits and/or bullisht for too long. It's just not that much love and patience in the world anymore.
truthteller
The Critic
Vinita...
What you said is very true. Marriage is a big risk, and one must be "willing." But when you told yourself that you're willing to take the risk, did you just tell yourself.."Ok, I'm willing to go for it." Or did you say to yourself...."Ok, I think I wanna go ahead with this, but let me be sure of myself before I take this risk."?
Of course, one isn't 100% sure that this thing is gonna be forever. Let's not take the message out of context here. Yes, you're hoping that the significant other is legit. And with that said, you become "sure" that you're willing to take the risk of marriage in time. I know good and well that you all aren't making big decisions like that without being sure of yourselves. C'mon now.
What you said is very true. Marriage is a big risk, and one must be "willing." But when you told yourself that you're willing to take the risk, did you just tell yourself.."Ok, I'm willing to go for it." Or did you say to yourself...."Ok, I think I wanna go ahead with this, but let me be sure of myself before I take this risk."?
Of course, one isn't 100% sure that this thing is gonna be forever. Let's not take the message out of context here. Yes, you're hoping that the significant other is legit. And with that said, you become "sure" that you're willing to take the risk of marriage in time. I know good and well that you all aren't making big decisions like that without being sure of yourselves. C'mon now.
truthteller
The Critic
LOL You a fool, Niter!
docmump
The Arch Nemesis
Do you guys ever read the Bible??
I believe in what the Bible says:
Who is the House Band?
Who is responsible for holding the house together?
Who Leaves the father and mother and Clings to the spouse?
Who is the Bread Winner of Old?
The Defender of the House?
Who Trains the children?
Who is not to Spare the Rod?
Who is to Love and who is to "Submit, dont misunderstand what this means"?
Who is the Head of the House?
ANSWER:
The Husband, The MAN.
How can he lead if he is not willing to start the trip. Men should be men.
Posting not to upset anyone, Just to inform.
I believe in what the Bible says:
Who is the House Band?
Who is responsible for holding the house together?
Who Leaves the father and mother and Clings to the spouse?
Who is the Bread Winner of Old?
The Defender of the House?
Who Trains the children?
Who is not to Spare the Rod?
Who is to Love and who is to "Submit, dont misunderstand what this means"?
Who is the Head of the House?
ANSWER:
The Husband, The MAN.
How can he lead if he is not willing to start the trip. Men should be men.
Posting not to upset anyone, Just to inform.
chocalate_topaz
I wanna be your lover...
Re: Do you guys ever read the Bible??
Not meaning to upset you, but how many men still do those things you alluded to? In fact, how many even KNOW about many of those sayings. Lets face the facts, most of the things you have listed are being done by the wife, mother, SI very, very well.
Heck, most of the "good men" I know are women.
I have watched so many women sit around waiting on the MAN to repair this, bring the money home, take them somewhere, etc. that I personally grew sick of it all and promised I wouldn't do it to myself.
I met, PROPOSED TO and married my husband in less than a year. It wasn't no biological clock dilemma or a have to situations ( I was 22 at the time). I felt that he was THE ONE and I took the plunge. We've been married for the past 15 so far. Have we had problems? Sure. But I can truthfully say, they begin around 5 years ago.
So, I personally say do what you want. If you ask and he says no, be thankful that now you both know it and move on. If he says yes, maybe you've got something to build on. Men like fiesty, independent women a heck of a lot more than passive one.
Maybe if more women stepped out of the "box" and took a leap of faith and asked, maybe they wouldn't end up feeling "boxed in".
Originally posted by docmump
I believe in what the Bible says:
Who is the House Band?
Who is responsible for holding the house together?
Who Leaves the father and mother and Clings to the spouse?
Who is the Bread Winner of Old?
The Defender of the House?
Who Trains the children?
Who is not to Spare the Rod?
Who is to Love and who is to "Submit, dont misunderstand what this means"?
Who is the Head of the House?
ANSWER:
The Husband, The MAN.
How can he lead if he is not willing to start the trip. Men should be men.
Posting not to upset anyone, Just to inform.
Not meaning to upset you, but how many men still do those things you alluded to? In fact, how many even KNOW about many of those sayings. Lets face the facts, most of the things you have listed are being done by the wife, mother, SI very, very well.
Heck, most of the "good men" I know are women.
I have watched so many women sit around waiting on the MAN to repair this, bring the money home, take them somewhere, etc. that I personally grew sick of it all and promised I wouldn't do it to myself.
I met, PROPOSED TO and married my husband in less than a year. It wasn't no biological clock dilemma or a have to situations ( I was 22 at the time). I felt that he was THE ONE and I took the plunge. We've been married for the past 15 so far. Have we had problems? Sure. But I can truthfully say, they begin around 5 years ago.
So, I personally say do what you want. If you ask and he says no, be thankful that now you both know it and move on. If he says yes, maybe you've got something to build on. Men like fiesty, independent women a heck of a lot more than passive one.
Maybe if more women stepped out of the "box" and took a leap of faith and asked, maybe they wouldn't end up feeling "boxed in".
M
Mighty Dog
Guest
Risk
be sure
misquoting the Bible
and all the other things that you mention, we learned from our educational experiences. We learn the meaning of words, but for some reason when we attempt to apply their meaning things begin to get confused.
Performing a Marriage Risk Assessment(will lead to staying single)
Defining be sure (no such thing)
Misquoting the Bible (One must understand that Christ said Love you wife like he loved the Church). (Too much pressure for the average human being)
Outlining the conditions of getting married. Anyone seeking or think about getting married, should understand the conditions of a marriage.
Dtown don't use risk.
be sure
misquoting the Bible
and all the other things that you mention, we learned from our educational experiences. We learn the meaning of words, but for some reason when we attempt to apply their meaning things begin to get confused.
Performing a Marriage Risk Assessment(will lead to staying single)
Defining be sure (no such thing)
Misquoting the Bible (One must understand that Christ said Love you wife like he loved the Church). (Too much pressure for the average human being)
Outlining the conditions of getting married. Anyone seeking or think about getting married, should understand the conditions of a marriage.
Dtown don't use risk.
M
Mighty Dog
Guest
Dtown, the only reason for not using risk it can be taken out of context by those who are reading this thread.
Vinita, believe in inflicting pain upon an individual.
I don't think truthteller understand. But I guess he has to be sure, that he is sure not to get someone who will inflict pain upon him.
Just think if you both work and he gets home early and did not cook. Then, after about thirty minutes, he ask when are you going to cook.
What would the average wife say after this statement is made.
Vinita, believe in inflicting pain upon an individual.
I don't think truthteller understand. But I guess he has to be sure, that he is sure not to get someone who will inflict pain upon him.
Just think if you both work and he gets home early and did not cook. Then, after about thirty minutes, he ask when are you going to cook.
What would the average wife say after this statement is made.
Warndalyn
Postmaster General!!!
I wouldn't say anything b/c when I was married, this question was never asked b/c I always cooked. But to answer your question, if this question was being asked to a black woman, the answer would probably be, "Why can't you cook, I've been working all day just like you." If this question was being asked to a white woman, she probably wouldn't say anything. She'd just go in the kitchen and ask, "well honey, what would you like?"
docmump
The Arch Nemesis
Re: Re: Do you guys ever read the Bible??
The wrong attitude to have. I believe if you keep God first and do what he ask you to do. He will supply your needs and if your needs happen to be a man then he will supply. 15 yrs. I have only been married for 2 yrs. Like you stated it has not all been smooth. But we are happy.
Are you and your spouse happy? You did not state that in your post. Only that it has been 15 years.
Are you always fiesty? I doubt it. You have a passive side in you somewhere.
Actually, I know several men that do what I alluded to but I know more that are Sperm Donors. I believe that A Man needs to be a man when he is ready to be a man. Never to look back to those chidish days.
Hey, I agree. I have heard women state they would never get married, They was getting old, they need a man, etc.
The wrong attitude to have. I believe if you keep God first and do what he ask you to do. He will supply your needs and if your needs happen to be a man then he will supply. 15 yrs. I have only been married for 2 yrs. Like you stated it has not all been smooth. But we are happy.
Are you and your spouse happy? You did not state that in your post. Only that it has been 15 years.
Some men like fiesty women. Some men like passive women. I like a woman that knows herself and doesnt have to always be fiesty OR passive. The one who knows when to put up a fight and when to go to the kitchen and cook dinner. (I got that from an eariler post.)
Are you always fiesty? I doubt it. You have a passive side in you somewhere.
truthteller
The Critic
MightyDog:
No. That's not what I'm saying. It's not so much about me or anyone having to worry about what the significant other is gonna do to me (them). Shew, if that's the case.....everyone in marriages would be on antianxiety agents for generalized anxiety. Just living on the edge.... The message is about self. Am I equipped for marriage at this time? Am I really ready for this lifelong committment? Is this really love that's kept me here thus far, or is it something else? Just stuff like that.... Just a plain ole self-analysis.
I mean gosh.....what's the problem? Are we not to ask ourselves these type questions?
No. That's not what I'm saying. It's not so much about me or anyone having to worry about what the significant other is gonna do to me (them). Shew, if that's the case.....everyone in marriages would be on antianxiety agents for generalized anxiety. Just living on the edge.... The message is about self. Am I equipped for marriage at this time? Am I really ready for this lifelong committment? Is this really love that's kept me here thus far, or is it something else? Just stuff like that.... Just a plain ole self-analysis.
I mean gosh.....what's the problem? Are we not to ask ourselves these type questions?
Vinita
Let's Go Lions, GO!
I don't LIKE to inflict pain, Mighty Dog ... I just don't MIND inflicting pain ...
If I haven't started cooking already by this time, my overly analytical Alpha man can correctly assume that the cooking is being done by the chefs at one of the many fine dining establishments in the area ...McDonald's, Wendy's, Chik Fil A, etc. ...
If it isn't established in the morning that he is doing the cooking, he really is not allowed in the kitchen, because I am the better cook.
If I haven't started cooking already by this time, my overly analytical Alpha man can correctly assume that the cooking is being done by the chefs at one of the many fine dining establishments in the area ...McDonald's, Wendy's, Chik Fil A, etc. ...
If it isn't established in the morning that he is doing the cooking, he really is not allowed in the kitchen, because I am the better cook.