O
Ohakam
Guest
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and
Southern Conservatives?
I'll Pose the following question to give you guys the differences:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises
the knife, and charges. You are carrying a .45 Caliber Glock, and you are an
expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family. What do you do?
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Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely
want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint
and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come
to a consensus.
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Conservative Answer:
BANG!
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Southern Conservative Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!

Southern Conservatives?
I'll Pose the following question to give you guys the differences:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises
the knife, and charges. You are carrying a .45 Caliber Glock, and you are an
expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family. What do you do?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely
want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint
and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come
to a consensus.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Southern Conservative Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!