Keeping in touch with your Ex.


Originally posted by MightyDog
I watch Change of Hearts on TV. If you have seen this show, I am sure you will agree that when one mate is discussing their affair the one that is doing the listening and watching the video tape show a sign of rejection... and disappointment. Then when the mate discuss their date, their mate shows a sign of rejection. Neither one can really accept what the other one is saying. Even when one mate select change of heart you will hear a comment that he or she didn't mean it.

Now what ever fire that brought you together will always be there, because you don't miss what you have until you lose it. There are still some good traits in every relationship which can not be dismissed. What caused one to be an Ex? Maybe if she could have gotten around the snoring, the affair or marriage could have worked. Then the Ex was not that bad when comparing him or her to the new mate.

As long as you can keep Exs from stirring the pot, things will work out ok, but if the Exs are put into certain positions, then it takes some strong will power to resist the temptation. Now if you departed on hate or split too soon because you caught your Ex cheating then it could be in the back our your mind that you like this person. You don't care who this person is married to or dating, all you know is you want this person back.
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WISDOM HAS SPOKEN!:cool:
 



It just depends on what type of relationship you have....now personally I feel that they shouldnt...what do you have to talk about every other week...maybe every other year...but every other week...NO
 
Originally posted by JSTUS
It's cool with me, because I am a very secure female. SECURITY is the main issue in this situation. One mate has to be sure they don't give the other mate any reason to be suspicous(sp) of the friendship.
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JSTUS, I agree, but I agree with Dtown as well in regard to cutting the ex once you are married.
 
Originally posted by ms.sonic96
That's real about you not knowing about it, if your ex is still communicating with em!

I'm a secure female about my relationship, when I'm in one, but I'm also not a FOOL! Huh! I will give me s.o. enough space to do what he do, but every situation is different and if I can help it I will.
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I hear ya Sistah!
 
Originally posted by MightyDog
I watch Change of Hearts on TV. If you have seen this show, I am sure you will agree that when one mate is discussing their affair the one that is doing the listening and watching the video tape show a sign of rejection... and disappointment.
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Man, if a woman of mine ever even suggested going on that dayumm show, I would fire her arse on the spot...


:mad: :mad: :mad:
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Originally posted by yvette23

dayum I marched in a predominantly male section, so what do you expect? :confused:
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What? :confused: A little respect? Tell dem bruhs that you have a new plumber fixin your pipes, so you will be out of order for a few weeks.
 
Vette, I've been in that predicament before, and I have to let my "boys" know that there is a new plumber in town (dayum did I just do that after BnB). But, yeah I've learned by having alooot of guy friends, often the boyfriend that I'm dating feels uncomfortable. My thing is that my "guy-friends" are just "guy-friends" and they will understand amd are there before the boyfriend and will be there afterwards. SO they understand, cause that same goes for them when they have a new pudding in their life.

but that's just me!
 
I think it is possible to sustain a friendship with an ex. It all depends on how you felt about that person before, during and after the relationship. I have an ex that I dated for 4 years. She took me through hell and back again. I cursed the ground she walked on. But we're cool as hell now. If you actually LIKE the person...you can be friends. And if that friendship is genuine...your current girlfriend/boyfriend will recognize it. Girlfriends/Boyfriends come and go. TRUE FRIENDS LAST A LIFETIME!!!
 
NN and I agree....

Originally posted by NASTYNUPE
I think it is possible to sustain a friendship with an ex. It all depends on how you felt about that person before, during and after the relationship. I have an ex that I dated for 4 years. She took me through hell and back again. I cursed the ground she walked on. But we're cool as hell now. If you actually LIKE the person...you can be friends. And if that friendship is genuine...your current girlfriend/boyfriend will recognize it. Girlfriends/Boyfriends come and go. TRUE FRIENDS LAST A LIFETIME!!!
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Just change the she to a he and I feel the same way
 
Originally posted by NASTYNUPE
And if that friendship is genuine...your current girlfriend/boyfriend will recognize it.
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And if your friendship is Ginuwine, then you will understand if they tell you that maybe we should not talk on the phone and see each other as much. I dont want to give you more time than Im giving my significant other, whether it be on the phone or in person.

But I agree with the boyfriend/girlfriend coming and going quote.
 
From some of these responses I wonder if some of you all were ever really friends with your ex. Real friends are hard to come by and just because the relatinship doesn't work at one level doesn't mean it can't work at all.

I am actualy in this situation right now. My girl and I both have ex's that we talk to. I have no problem with it cuz if she runs back to him then she didn't really want me. I know for dayum sure I would never leave my current girl for my ex. I would be a friggin idiot to do that. But my ex and I are very good friends and our families are very close and thats one of the very very few people in the world I really call a friend. I see people mentioning loyalty and thats the exact reason I won't cut all ties. The loyalty in this friendship has been proven. Does that mean the ex comes before my girl? L naw, neither does my closest homeboy(not even my parents if we get married) but I know I can count on both of them like family.

I don't find it disrespectful if her ex calls as long as it isn't on a frequent basis. Once it gets too frequent thats where the problem starts.

Honestly I would be more concerned if I knew the only thing keeping them apart was lack of communication rather than if they talked and nothing happened.

Thats just my opinion.
 
Originally posted by BLAQUE PRINCE
From some of these responses I wonder if some of you all were ever really friends with your ex. Real friends are hard to come by and just because the relatinship doesn't work at one level doesn't mean it can't work at all.

I am actualy in this situation right now. My girl and I both have ex's that we talk to. I have no problem with it cuz if she runs back to him then she didn't really want me. I know for dayum sure I would never leave my current girl for my ex. I would be a friggin idiot to do that. But my ex and I are very good friends and our families are very close and thats one of the very very few people in the world I really call a friend. I see people mentioning loyalty and thats the exact reason I won't cut all ties. The loyalty in this friendship has been proven. Does that mean the ex comes before my girl? L naw, neither does my closest homeboy(not even my parents if we get married) but I know I can count on both of them like family.

I don't find it disrespectful if her ex calls as long as it isn't on a frequent basis. Once it gets too frequent thats where the problem starts.

Honestly I would be more concerned if I knew the only thing keeping them apart was lack of communication rather than if they talked and nothing happened.

Thats just my opinion.
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Good points. :tup:
 



Suge, I think you said it best. I am married and no I don't talk to my ex on a really base. However, every now and then we talk to see how each other is doing. It really depends on what kind of ex you have. My ex and I were friends before we started dating.

We are both married now and we still talk to each other. We have both had problems in our marriage and we helped each other thorough them. You just have to be mature enough to know what is right and what is wrong. You know when your ex is calling for something more than a conversation. Be wise.
 
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