Jam Piper Jam
Truth Seeker
You know you're at a ghetto funeral when:
1. If three generations get out of the family car to beat down someone for cutting into the funeral procession.
2. If you got relatives coming in shackled from the state pen to pay their respects.
3. A fist fight breaks out.
4. When people break down crying, try to climb into the casket, and tell the Lord that they "want to go."
5. When the dead person is wearing $3,000 worth of jewelry, and the funeral directors strip the body before closing the casket for the final
time.
6. When friends and family wear T-shirts with a photo of the deceased on it ... to the funeral!
7. When the family had somebody ('Twan) to choreograph their march in (processional)...
8. When the brothas stand around drinking' after the service and someone "pours a lil sumptin' on the ground for the homie who's no longer with us."
9. When most of the relatives keep fainting before, during, and after the service.
10. When everybody strips the grave of flowers to take home.
11. When the dinner after the funeral turns into a family reunion, folks break out cards and dominoes, somebody starts playing some Marvin Gaye, and all the older men start talking about how they used to pimp back in the day.
12. When the obituary was made on a home typewriter and is filled with misspelled words ... even the name of the deceased!
13. When the picture on the obituary is the deceased from 30 years ago!
14. When everybody is trying to out cry one another as if crying the loudest will qualify for a prize after the funeral.
15. If the deceased didn't have 2 nickels to rub together, but leaves the world in a $15,000 silk-lined mahogany coffin.
16. When the soloist sings about 15 verses "Precious Lord" or "His eye is on the Sparrow."
17. When the funeral is two weeks after the death of the deceased.
18. When speakers start cussing during their "remarks."
19. When unknown children shout "Daddy" from all over the church.
20. When the preacher doesn't know which wife to give the flag to. :lmao:
1. If three generations get out of the family car to beat down someone for cutting into the funeral procession.
2. If you got relatives coming in shackled from the state pen to pay their respects.
3. A fist fight breaks out.
4. When people break down crying, try to climb into the casket, and tell the Lord that they "want to go."
5. When the dead person is wearing $3,000 worth of jewelry, and the funeral directors strip the body before closing the casket for the final
time.
6. When friends and family wear T-shirts with a photo of the deceased on it ... to the funeral!
7. When the family had somebody ('Twan) to choreograph their march in (processional)...
8. When the brothas stand around drinking' after the service and someone "pours a lil sumptin' on the ground for the homie who's no longer with us."
9. When most of the relatives keep fainting before, during, and after the service.
10. When everybody strips the grave of flowers to take home.
11. When the dinner after the funeral turns into a family reunion, folks break out cards and dominoes, somebody starts playing some Marvin Gaye, and all the older men start talking about how they used to pimp back in the day.
12. When the obituary was made on a home typewriter and is filled with misspelled words ... even the name of the deceased!
13. When the picture on the obituary is the deceased from 30 years ago!
14. When everybody is trying to out cry one another as if crying the loudest will qualify for a prize after the funeral.
15. If the deceased didn't have 2 nickels to rub together, but leaves the world in a $15,000 silk-lined mahogany coffin.
16. When the soloist sings about 15 verses "Precious Lord" or "His eye is on the Sparrow."
17. When the funeral is two weeks after the death of the deceased.
18. When speakers start cussing during their "remarks."
19. When unknown children shout "Daddy" from all over the church.
20. When the preacher doesn't know which wife to give the flag to. :lmao:
