Get Ready is writing a new book


Get Ready

Get Ready

Well-Known Member
Its about the hard wokring black man that goes to work every day to provide for his family.
When he comes home, he wants to smell some food cooking on the stove.
He wants to smell and good clean house.
He wants his wife to smell nice and pretty every now and then like the day he met her.
 

Im on the chapter where the guy comes home and cant stand what he sees anymore. His wife is still sitting on the couch eating Bon-Bons complaining about how busy her day was, the baby has on a nasty diaper, and the kitchen sink is full of dishes. She was complaining that Oprah was cut short by a special news report about some President or something. So he takes the TV and the couch outside and burns it.

Right now I have writers block....can Get Ready get some help?
 
Dayum man you are a freakin Gene-e-yous!

That is an excellent book title and topic. At this point, he should go back in the house, and tell her he is leaving her and taking his kids. That he is suing her arse for child support, the house, and the car. That he wants half her salary!

When a woman doesn't cook, clean, and take care of the home....then that is spousal abuse. She might as well have hit him in the face! trife asre bon-bon Oprah watching broad!
 
LMAO @ Get Ready.

LMAO @ Suge.

To add to the story, after he takes his kids and leave and sues for child support and half her salary, he should call all the fellas up and arrange a "waiting to inhale" party. They can all bash and trash the ho's in their lives and what not.

And he should also ask for alimony and tell her that he want the house too. She can move out and get an apartment or something. She won't have much money left to do much else after he finishes with her.
 
......but after all of the Inhalation Parties are over, our character finds himself lonely, and wanting. So after months of just drifting by in life, one day he reads the paper, and notices an interesting article about a group, that can show a man, how to keep a job as a front, but has his woman doing everything, the only thing he as to do is give her some meat from time, to time, and he'll be on easy street.

The group is headed by Bill Clinton, and Rene' Elizondo.

The man then gives the group a call, he pays his dues, and goes on to be the top group member ever. To solidify his change for the better he changed his name, and is now a model student for all to follow.

His name is now Stedmann Graham.

NICE
 
Get Ready, are you getting all of this ?

ROTFLMAO !!!

Stedmann Graham.......AHAHAHAHA !!!

D-Nice, you're on point with that one !!!
 
*****scene change****

Meantime,

Wife is back at the crib singing Mary J's song... "don't need no hateration, holleration...."

Wifey is celebrating "no more drama"


Get Ready, are you writing this down! :D
 
OK,

Im at the part of the book where the man leaves a divorce proceeding. He is in the hotel having a drink to relax his nerves. Suddenly he sees this chic......., man she looks like Chante Moore. They start talking and sharing their problems and find out they have a lot in common. The chick is in town on business right... So eventually they end up in her room where they talk more and more and they start to think about intimacy. Simultaneously they remember their spouses at home and stop what they are doing............
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.....long enough to get out of their clothes were he proceeds to knock the bottom of that thang.
<font size=6> WHAM WHAM WHAM </FONT>
But then, in the morning, he goes back home to that broad of his.
 

Sted-man...Sted-man...Sted-man...Sted-man...

you know, if Steady Stedie has good legal representation, he could sue her arse for the egregious emotional trauma of the abuse her laziness subjected him to - yeah, go punitive on her

I recommend calling the law offices of Robber, JStateTiger, and Jim Brown in Jackson

:D
 
What about the part...

Where the wife burst into the Man's office, trying to bring some drama, when the "Sexy-tery" tells her to step out. The wife gets loud and tries to push past the cutie. The "Sexy-tery" whips out a 55 gallon can of whup azz and proceeds to roll out on old girl. She drops "The Peoples Elbow"(c) on the wife and picks her up for a drop kick. She hits her so hard, when she finally stops rolling, her clothes are out of style. Our Man steps over her and holds the door for the "Sexy-tery" as they go to the Navigator. :D
 
Then the wifey figgers she is getting the shaft outta this here deal. So she gets her a good lawyer and tells the judge that HE wouldn't allow her to work. She gave up her edumacation to stay home and have babies. It's just after 5 babies, she can't keep up and he doesn't do squat once he gets home but beotch and complain. If he would only do his part at home and get a maid and a housekeeper instead of expecting her to be the maid, cook, nanny, shopper, wife and wanting her to act like a skreet ho in bed things would be smoother.

Anyway, she doesn't think she wants him back, but she does want chirren support, alimony, a new minivan, the house, maintenance and upkeep, alimony and keep the kids while she goes to a weight-reduction spa (on him) for 1 month. He is cheating on her afterall. AND his boetch did try to put som Whup-Azz on her!

Dayum he expects TOOOOO Much!!:redhot: Gotta pay her.:D
 
Wifey and her good lawyer (Star Jones) roll up in court and get the shock of their lives. The judge tell wifey and Star to STFU this ain't California, this is the SIP and a women that can't cook, clean, and care for chirren ain't sh__. Case dismissed.
 
Then ole boy, gets with this sexy "Freakin" Puerto Rican CPA . He has to have her figure out all the money spent due to high utility bills from wifey sitting on her lazy butt eating expensive bon bons. Becuz her azz got so big, he incurred hotel bills from sneaking off and banging her fine azz best friend who's drunk azz husband plays the horses and the numbers. He also remembers the cost of liquor, Optimos, and blunts he had to purchase in order to "get up" so he could take care of his husbandly duties.

While he's giving "dicktation" to this Freakin Puerto Rican, he remembers all the expenses incurred buying weave for his soon to be ex wife so that he could pretend she was JayLo whenever she wanted to be "doggeyed"

Plus, he is out of the cash spent to pay off her fine azz little cousin who lived with them for one semester. Even though it wasn't his fault (she was always walking around in those tight azz "dukes"), he still decided to pay the clinic for her "visit"
 
Some of yall messing up my book and are not being much help(topaz)

Anyway, I have just finished another chapter.

One day the hard working husband comes home and decides he needs to cut the grass before taking the kids to soccer practice. He opens the door to the storage room out back and what does he see? His teenage son getting a hummer from some white girl.

He explodes with anger.....

"Boy what in the hell are you doing? I cant believe you are out here haiving a non sex act (according to the President) committed on you in this storage room!!!! All my years of guidance and teaching!!! All my days spent trying to show you the correct ways to manhood and you resort to this. You would think that being my son, my oldest son, the one that goes everywhere with me, that you would no better than be in the storage room getting a hummer. This has really broken my heart. Why are you out here in the storage room instead of your room in the house. n I work two jobs to provide you with a room of your own? So take Becky in the house and handle your business boy. Your mother wont disturb you, I just bought her a fresh box of Bon Bons and an Oprah Marathon is on."

(a tear falls from his eye)
 
..............just as the boy was sent to the room with Becky, a redneck policeman happened to be passing by, and saw the girl walking out of the storage room, adjusting her bra strap, and wiping her lips; they noticed the anger on the father's face, and immediately stopped his squad car, jumped out, started whipping up on the father, and then arrested the boy for rape.

NAACP, AL SHARPTON SEND HELP ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!

NICE
 
LIke Father, like son....

That's what you get for f--king with them white girls.

Anyhoo, wifey gets wind of this travesty (son) and bails out the son. She then calls child protective services and expresses her dismay that they gave the chirren to this chump who cannot control the chirren when he has them. Is this the first time, or only the first time he got caught being a punk-azz parent?

Wifey then recontacts STar Jones who makes a convincing case and that SAME judge who foolishly dismissed it the first time, realized the error of his ways and awarded full custody, chirren support, maintenance, alimony and a week at a health spa to wifey. AND SHE LIVES HAPPILY ON AND ON........
 
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