My son is 24 and he is constantly running across girls that only want to date hood/street dudes. He has never been that dude that just wants to hit and quit. What is it about this generation of young ladies that attracts them to this type of dude? What can I say to my son to keep him from being discouraged by this?
Fellas...I Need Your Help
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It didn’t seem as prevalent when I was in my teens (I got married when I was 22). Then again, I may not have noticed it because I was married so early.
The Founder
Well-Known Member
Let your son hang out with me and Cee Dog for 24 hours and he will be alright. Man I have two sons and tell them "We don't love these hoes." Both of my sons like older women. Shitttttttttttt my oldest is 24 and messing with a fine ass 38 year old. My son that is 21 is messing with a 29 year old. She got him a playstation 5 and flat screen for him at HER house. Yea house not apartment. My sons said its not about the Puddin but more about maturity and the ability not to tell everyone your business.
LAW DAWG
TSU LOVE
Tell him to just get comfortable with dating and have a good time doing it. Just like young men, many young ladies often don't know what they want at his age, and unfortunately don't fall for a dude until he is hitting in a way she hasn't experienced before.
My second bit of advice is for him to just be himself, Ms. Right will come along.
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BulldogM.Ed.23
Bulldog Fan/Supporter
Damn Good Discussion!
My advice would be to tell him to... 1. stay on his purpose 2. focus on his purpose 3. worry about his purpose...
Staying one's purpose is everything for a man....
My testimony is my best moments and interactions with my favorite women has always been (and continues to be
) when I am on my grind, hustling, putting in my work of following my passions in pursuit of my purpose. Not that I have always known this or been doing this, but only in recent years have I put two and two together and figured this was what it was all about. Every time I've been on my purpose, I've always found myself around and near the women that are right for me in every kind of way, always.Age 24 right? As he gets older, it will be easier...
Why I keep emphasizing purpose? Maybe when one is on his purpose, more than likely he will be in the vicinity of those women that are into what he is into and that in itself everything, more so than looks or what she can do in the bedroom. The isth gets old as you get grown. Man, I love it when a woman loves the same music I love, the same books that I love, the same sports teams that I love never mind doing the same work that I do professionally.
Plus, remind him that plenty of women will always be available. When one is not feeling you or you are not feeling her, move on because there are so many good ones out there. Don't fall for those silly trap games either. If she is playing around or slowing you down while you are trying to stay on your purpose, on to the next. I've tried to tell my son this. I think he gets it.
Whatever he feels his purpose is (grinding, hustling, making money, music, art, or whatever he is passionate about doing) ...just stay on it and he will be fine...and he really won't have to look for her, she or they will find him...
...and after he hooks up, don't get complacent or let up with being on his purpose...
#anothermansopinion
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He does like feet and legs so hangin with you and @CEE DOG might not be a bad idea.
He stays on his grind at work. We work at the same place and he has almost caught up with me as far as job titles. I really admire his focus and determination.Damn Good Discussion!
My advice would be to tell him to... 1. stay on his purpose 2. focus on his purpose 3. worry about his purpose...
Staying one's purpose is everything for a man....
My testimony is my best moments and interactions with my favorite women has always been (and continues to be
Age 24 right? As he gets older, it will be easier...
Why I keep emphasizing purpose? Maybe when one is on his purpose, more than likely he will be in the vicinity of those women that are into what he is into and that in itself everything, more so than looks or what she can do in the bedroom. The isth gets old as you get grown. Man, I love it when a woman loves the same music I love, the same books that I love, the same sports teams that I love never mind doing the same work that I do professionally.
Plus, remind him that plenty of women will always be available. When one is not feeling you or you are not feeling her, move on because there are so many good ones out there. Don't fall for those silly trap games either. If she is playing around or slowing you down while you are trying to stay on your purpose, on to the next. I've tried to tell my son this. I think he gets it.
Whatever he feels his purpose is (grinding, hustling, making money, music, art, or whatever he is passionate about doing) ...just stay on it and he will be fine...and he really won't have to look for her, she or they will find him...
...and after he hooks up, don't get complacent or let up with being on his purpose...
#anothermansopinion
He knows there are plenty of women out there but I think he’s trying too hard to settle down.
He often gets labeled as too nice and that’s really frustrating him to the point where he doesn’t even want to try anymore.
CEE DOG
Well-Known Member
One of the hardest lessons I think we as men have to learn is to like women that like us. What I mean by that is as men we are visual. We love those things that attract attention when it comes to a woman. Once I learned that the game became easier. In order to find a good girl we have to date the ones that we overlook. I have many friends at 45+ still going through this. They haven't learned to step outside their I gotta have Halle Berry or Lisa Raye types. Sometimes dating the plain simple girl is the best. Sometimes it's not. I will give two examples. When I was in my mid 20's one of my mentors told me something his father told him. His father told him son your mother is one of the most beautiful woman I ever dated. She has a shape to kill for. Pretty hazel eyes and long curly hair, but she is hell to deal with. He said now look at my current wife. she's not the prettiest in DC. She has a flat butt and doesn't make you look on first site, but she gives me peace. She cooks for me, cleans for me and always put me first. In my 20's I had no clue what he was talking about. I laughed when he told me this. Now as a older gentleman I understand exactly what he was saying. My best friend wife is not the most attractive woman in Florida. Yet she is the most supportive, friendliest and best wife out of most of the guys I associate with. He has been married for 26 years and never experienced the problems many men I know have. He always tells me yes I have had a few minutes of dang, but never once have I ever had real problems because my wife brings me peace. The moral of this long post is that everyone wants that AMG S class Mercedes Benz, but sometimes that having that reliable Toyota Camry is better. They both come with a car payment but one will break your pockets and the other will make your pockets more comfortable.
I think he’s starting to understand the aspect of not always going for the dime piece and looking at their personality. My wife tells him to stop looking for the same body type (he gravitates towards slim women) and step outside of his comfort zone.
I’ve told him that it’s okay to have a type but don’t let that make him miss out on the one that might be for him.
Definitely not lying lol. Unfortunately for the normal dude, a lot of women had to go through that phase where shit like rappers and thugs are the go to. I mean, they're young and that's pretty much all the ones without true guidance see on social media. Many make it through that minefield without getting too fucked over... others come outta there with 5 kids by 5 different dudes. It's usually around the late 20's, early 30's where THOSE types realize they just want a good dude. Then, you become the prize. Let me tell you something, go to my hometown in a nice car, dressed nice, look decent and single with no kids. You become a superstar immediately just because they're not really used to anything. Stack your money and just chill. More importantly though, if that's the type you want, that's the type you need to position yourself around.
Like for example here in ATL. You ain't going to whatever top 5 popular club there is if you're looking to link with some chill women. Sunday evening, hit a local bar and catch a game. You'll see what I mean lol. Even if you aren't drinking, just get you a plate of wings and wear whatever your favorite team's attire is. Often time they will crank up conversation with you without you even having to say anything. LA Fitness on Camp Creek, Applebee's on Cascade.... and sistas with their own shit so they aren't pressed to try to get yours.
This is true too. I'll admit I was never one to be super bold when it came to approaching chicks prior to my mid 20's. But when I was at Howard, I could get away just with having a southern accent. Those women there will let you know though, if you're going to fool with me you have to be on your shit. Most of them are highly educated due to the jobs in the area. I met a chick there from the Bronx that basically threatened me into being her dude within 4 days. I didn't mind it somehow.
Getting out of the state might not be a bad idea 🤔🤔🤔
CEE DOG
Well-Known Member
Unfortunately women like thugs or being naive about what they can have never changes. Why do you think Kevin Samuels was so popular? The women hated him because he told them the truth no matter how harsh it seemed. The simps hated him because he told the truth on them about being a fool for them. I know 45+ women still calling men nerds and lame. Then you got the old red fat heffa that use to be fine 15 years ago still thinking she can be picky. lol You also got the chick who always liked hood dudes but married the good guy after being used up to only let him help her financially and have kids by him to guarantee high child support to only go back to the thug later in life or after he does 15-20 years in the joint. One of my boys in Atl just went through this. He was married 19 years. She had one child when they met then they had one together. She left him and went back to chicago, filed for divorce and was on facebook with a dude who just out the joint talking about her true real love. SMH! lol
LAW DAWG
TSU LOVE
He's on the right track. He sounds like the type of son that makes a father proud.
In addition to what I said earlier, another bit of advice is to tell him to value personality over the physical. It's amazing what a loving woman that naturally smiles and can carry on a decent conversation, sometimes referred to as a sweet pie, can do for the soul of a man. Women like that are worth waiting around for.
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Sad thing is that they are proud of it. I heard about a woman that took some charges for her man because she didn't have any priors. S#it like that blows my mind.
I am very proud of him. When he sent me his offer letter for his promotion, I cried like a baby and didn't care who saw me crying.
buckwheat1911
Well-Known Member
Tell him Becky, Yo Shin are available.
The Founder
Well-Known Member
I was serious in my last post but I am serious serious here....man hoes love dudes like your son. They love getting pregnant by them because they know he will take care of the baby....so tell him to watch these hoes.....them hood hoes got that GOOD GOOD and they down for WHATEVER!!!
Oh fa sho. I have already put him on game about that. Believe it or not, he actually turned down some puddin because the girl wanted to give it up while my wife and I were home. He said he took her home because she copped an attitude with him because he said no and wanted to disrespect our house.