Bilbrew:
Pardon me for putting my personal business out there (again), but maybe this example can help someone else out in the future:
During what I can now recognize as the decline of my marriage, my ex-mother-in-law decided that she would send my ex-brother-in-law to our house for "a few days" because he was "having some problems". In a show of outright disrespect, my ex-mother-in-law and ex-wife agreed to this while I was sleeping. I was awaken with the news that my ex-brother-in-law was going to be at the train station that night.
After a couple of days out of the "few days", my ex-wife came to me and said that her mother was going to send some money so that the ex-brother-in-law could buy a vehicle so that he could get a job. I flipped and asked when did it go from "a few days" to this grown man living here rent-free without ANYONE asking the supposed man of the house (me) about it. That of course led to a lot of tension. I am sure that my ex-brother-in-law could sense it, but at that point I really didn't care.
A couple of days later, after a rough day at work and a long commute home, I walked in to door to once again find my ex-brother-in-law laying in the living room in front of the television. After stepping over him and looking into the kitchen, I noticed that the trashcan was full and the dishes were piled up. That was the final straw. In true Lance Bilbrew fashion, I stepped back over my ex-brother-in-law, walked outside, called my ex-wife on my cell and said (exact quote, excuse the language), "You mean to tell me that this grown azz muthafugga can lay in the house all the day and not even take the trash out?!". Her response was, "Well, he would take the trash out if you asked him to". My attitude was that I should have had to ask him since he was in the house all day with nowhere to go and nothing better to do, especially since he was eating our food and using our utilities without pitching in a dime. After she and her brother talked, he started doing chores around the house (mowing the lawn, cleaning up, etc.). The way that he saw it, he felt like he was doing the stuff that I was supposed to be doing and that I was getting off scott-free. The way that I saw it, he needed to be doing SOMETHING since he was laying up in the house all day while his sister and I were at work, aside from the fact that I never actually agreed for him to be there in the first place. He was on another train back to his mother's house that weekend.
The next time that I saw him he didn't have much to say to me, but I honestly did not care.