Well, I think a person should remarry if they get a divorce. I know if God put the union together it will not fail. Some of us, including myself, married the wrong person from the jump. God did not put us together as husband and wife...we did. We did not pray together and consult with God. We should always pray to God in everything that we do and wait to hear an answer from Him instead of leaping into mess. I didn't pray and ask God to send the husband that He desired for me to have the first time around and I am sure most divorced people did not. I just wanted a husband. I saw signs in him that I ignored before we got married, but I still married him. We were not on one accord and the results ended in divorce. If God wants me to have another husband He will let me know and only then will I make that leap.
DIVORCED PERSONS
- Thread starter JagBR
- Start date
Dr. Sweet NUPE
New Member
Hell I can't get married so the how the HELL am I ever goin get divorced.
ATLJag
Active Member
I am divorced and I plan to get remarried one of these days (not to my ex-wife, of course).
I know that some clergymen and Biblical scholars are quick to spout verses about this, but I still think that I would be more blessed by marrying the woman of my choice as opposed to shacking up with her for years, fornicating with her for years and/or having children out of wedlock, or other equally-sinful scenarios. I'd rather repent for divorcing the first time and get married again instead of living in sin with someone or just not being with anyone at all. I'm sure some people may not like that, but let he who is without sin cast the first stone. None of us are perfect and we have all sinned and fallen short. I won't let some "church folk" tell me that I shouldn't remarry when they are probably not without fault themselves.
I know that some clergymen and Biblical scholars are quick to spout verses about this, but I still think that I would be more blessed by marrying the woman of my choice as opposed to shacking up with her for years, fornicating with her for years and/or having children out of wedlock, or other equally-sinful scenarios. I'd rather repent for divorcing the first time and get married again instead of living in sin with someone or just not being with anyone at all. I'm sure some people may not like that, but let he who is without sin cast the first stone. None of us are perfect and we have all sinned and fallen short. I won't let some "church folk" tell me that I shouldn't remarry when they are probably not without fault themselves.
dacontinent
Preacher
GramFan said:
Here goes...
Matt 5:31-32
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
KJV
Matt 19:3-12
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
KJV
Mark 10:2-16
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
13 And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them.
14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
15 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.
16 And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.KJV
1 Cor 7:10-17
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
KJV
dacontinent
Preacher
UAPB-LIONS-AM&N said:
I will concur. God's promises are conditional. We have to do what makes for a good marriage. There are no automatic's.
Yes, I do know plenty of believers who are married to each other but
- weren't counselled properly before they were married;
- came out of homes that did not set them up for success
- do not have mentors and persons to whom they are accountable in the marriage
- are stubborn and pig-headed
- allow poor outside influences to impact their marriage
- follow the world's methods
Those things are not for indictment purposes. They are just common reasons that marriages fail with believers...and these only scratch the surface.
Folks, MARRIAGE IS NOT EASY. That is why it is not for those who are not ready, the immature, nor the curious. It is "not to be entered into lightly" - and that is where most of the failures occur.
There is a reason why I married the only woman I ever dated; why we dated in celibacy for 2 years and 10 months until we were married; why we spent time in counsel with couples who had been married 40-60 years; why we started a marriage accountability group meeting in our home when our marriage was in trouble. We have been married for almost 23 years and we want to stay that way and see it be a blessing for generations to come. Our marriage has worked for two reasons: (1) we have worked at it and (2) we have submitted ourselves to God as individuals. God has blessed us for make His choices to learn to love like he loves.
There are times when we have wanted to simply walk away and not look back. However, we understand that we are not in this for ourselves. We are in this for His glory. If He can take a cross, we can bear up with each other.
dacontinent
Preacher
GramFan said:
I did not write those passages. The newest of them is nearly 2000 years old.
Whew!!! is exactly right. Believe me, those passages were drilled into my then fiancee and I for more than two years. The people who mentored us did everything that they could to expose us to the pitfalls of marriage. They were not negative about marriage at all. They figured that if they could talk you out of marriage by telling you the stark truth about it, then you really were not ready to be married. They literally told us that after we were married. They wanted to see us have a successful marriage. They did everything that they could to help us. We met with one couple in their 80's twice a week for 2+ years. The thing that we learned? God does not fail but people do. If our marriage failed, it would not be God's fault.
The other thing that we were constantly reminded of was that God honors marriage. So, when two people just who had no regard for God got married, their union would be regard the same as God's custom-made marriage of Adam & Eve. "That wasn't person God had for me to marry", "God didn't join us together; we did it ourselves", "We were unequally yoked" would not be acceptable responses for leaving our marriage. Consequently, we would be taking our vows seriously - "...for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, forsaking all others, keep myself only for you until death shall separate us".
We have discussed this subject on TSPN more times than I care to remember. I know that there are people who have been in some difficult situations with spouses whom they no longer walk together with. I understand that mine is a hardline position on this subject. Still, I have to stay with the scriptures on this subject. I believe them, I preach them, and if I believe what I preach, I then have to live them.
dacontinent said:
And I do believe that even though all the things above that you mentioned in reference to counseling and so forth; the marriages lasted because they were predestined from God to last. I commend you and your spouse for walking and staying in God's will. But, I still believe that God did not predestined some of these marriages to last a lifetime.
ATLJag
Active Member
ALJSUII said:
I agree, especially when one of the parties either no longer wishes to honor their wedding vows (for better or worse, richer or poorer, etc.). Unfortunately for me, I was married to a person who already had in their mind from jump that they were going to leave as soon as things were not how *they* envisioned them to be. If agreeing to let them go and going on with my life makes me a bad person, then I'll be that. I will get married again one day and it is not like someone is going to stop the ceremony in spite of how "wrong" they feel it is for either of us to wed someone else.
Blacknbengal
Well-Known Member
Fort, you're wrong for that. :lol:Fortitude said:Dat boy wouldn't have me again! :lol: :swink:
Blacknbengal
Well-Known Member
ALJSUII said:
I went through the same thing with my first wife.
Blacknbengal
Well-Known Member
dacontinent said:
dacontinent
Preacher
Predestined marriage failures. That one will take me a long time to swallow. Did God, in His foreknowlege, understand that they would fail? Certainly. Was it God's will for them to fail? No.ALJSUII said:
I am sorry that you were joined to someone who was not committed to your marriage. That must have been horrific for you. Letting her go does not make you a bad person at all.BILBREW said:
I served as an assistant pastor for nearly 10 years. The last 5 of those years my pastor and his wife were divorced. We held on to them both until their marriage was restored. Then, we could be released to pursue the planting of our current church.
Those were 5 of the most difficult years that I have been through in ministry, but the outcome made it worthwhile. It was an incredible burden on that congregation, but there was a core of people who helped them fight for their marriage. We won; all of us - you included.
God is for marriage. It cost Jesus his life to prove it to us.
Dr H..
Active Member
Dr. Sweet NUPE said:
Same here, I am still looking!
Do not forget -
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Cor.7:9
It's better to marry than burn in your lust.
One preacher said - It's better to marry than burn in lust, then burn in hell.
