Can I get MY money please???


JSTUS

JSTUS

THE WARHORSES!!!
Say you had a friend you've known since 6th grade. The friend lost their job and needed some money to prevent getting kicked out of their place. They asked you for severrrrrrral hundred dollars saying they would give it back in two weeks.

Now, that has been a long time ago. The friend has since started working again and does not hesitate to tell you that they went out and bought this and that unnecessary thing, just lots of frivilous spending, but never mentions paying you a cent of your money. How do you handle it? Do you just count your losses or do you ask when am I gonna get my money?
 
You count you losses.

When I give someone money, it's just that...a gift. I don't expect it back, cuz 9 times out of 10, you won't get it back. If a friend of mine is truly in need of something, I'd probably offer to give them some $$$ just to help them out anyway. I don't loan money to folks anymore. It takes them too long to pay back, or they don't pay backat all....and I refuse to run up behind someone for my damn money. Folks know when they owe you.

I'd say count your losses and take this as a learning experience.
 

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Originally posted by Dtown Jag
Folks know when they owe you.
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I would still ask if the person if he/she has any intentions of paying me back. It's no harm in asking, especially if you take the right approach.
I wouldn't expect the money back, because it'll only frustrate you if you don't get it.

I also agree with Dtown Jag: if you give money, give it as a gift. Because it seems like most people get that selective memory when it comes to paying back money. And that's really sad.

I had a roommate like that: Would ask for money and say she'll pay back. But would never give you your money back unless you asked--- But the girl can remember an outfit someone had on six months ago on the exact date. ~shm~
I wised up though and just started deducting what she owed me from our shared bills (electricity/cable).


I hope you get your money back. Several hundred dollars??? Nah, that's too much to let go. I don't have it like that YET to just let it go.
 
Originally posted by CriTAUcal

Several hundred dollars??? Nah, that's too much to let go. I don't have it like that YET to just let it go.
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Yep severrrrrrrrrrrrral hundred dollars. I'm counting it as a big lost and yes, Dtown, it was definitely a learning experience. I was blessed at that time to be a blessing and was doubled blessed in return for now I know what kind of person they really are. God works in mysterious ways to reveal to us who people really are. I'm not perfect, but I could never do that to someone knowing they helped me without hesitation in my time of need. However,like my Da says "you can't expect people to be the kind of person you are."
 
Agreeing with the Diva from D-Town. I learned a long time ago, Don't loan money. If I can't afford to do with out it, don't give it thinking I'll get it back in the next couple of weeks. The sad reality is you WILL NOT be getting it back.
 
Like Easy-E said once, "Money Gone."

Originally posted by JSTUS


Yep severrrrrrrrrrrrral hundred dollars. I'm counting it as a big lost and yes, Dtown, it was definitely a learning experience. I was blessed at that time to be a blessing and was doubled blessed in return for now I know what kind of person they really are. God works in mysterious ways to reveal to us who people really are. I'm not perfect, but I could never do that to someone knowing they helped me without hesitation in my time of need. However,like my Da says "you can't expect people to be the kind of person you are."
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JSTUS,
I just change my scriptures from "reeping and sowing". You are going to make me change it back. The Lord will bless you for giving money to people. Trust him. ;)

As far as your original post. Just write it off. Let it go, I believe it was in another thread when somebody stated "they dont give money with the intent of ever seeing it again." And that is what I believe. I am not going to give money and expect it back.

PS. I am not affraid of telling a person "NO" after they dont give my money back though. If they ask why I denied their request. I remind them of the last time I gave money to them.

So, Dont give it if you want it back.
:swink:
 
I agree with what everyone has said. And yes, God is going to bless you for helping others.

But I would still ask her about my money. I wouldn't get ugly about it or even have an attitude. I would just want to know if she has any intentions of re-paying. If she can't do--- fine!! And I'll know next time that she would not be getting another cent of my money and then I can just refer her to "Check Into Cash" in the future. 'Cause most likely, there will be a Next Time.
 
It is a learning experience for you. I have been faced many times with a situation which required a large outlay of cash. I have always asked "Could I live without ever getting this money back?" If the answer was no, then I did not give (lend) the money. If the answer was yes, then I did. I have given friends my last dollar, and I didn't think anything of it. So it is not really a money issue to me, it is a comfort issue.
 
My aunt gave me the BEST advice concerning loans......Only loan what you can and/or will GIVE. For me, I will gladly GIVE a personal requesting a loan $25. This works fine for me because I don't miss it and I don't have to bird-dog a person about the money should they not repay the loan.

My personal motto is "I give to the needy not the greedy." Some folks come in the name of "need" when in actuality they have the spirit of "greed."
 
I agree that it is best not to loan money unless you are prepared to not get it back. However, until that is obvious, I will ask and will do so more than once if necessary with the hope of asking and it will be given. I would probably say something like, hey, friends name, I am really glad you have another job and things are working well for you. Just for my records, can you give me a date when you will be returning the money I loaned to you on (provide the date and smile)? Once I get a date, then I will follow up several times if it is missed. If the time commitment still isn't honored, I will let the person know that I am disappointed that our financial arrangement didn't work out. Then I would put closure to the issue.
 
Ahhhhh...lemme see. Several hundred dollars....hmmmm.

HAYUL NAW!!! THAT HEFFA KNOWS SHE OWES YOU SOME MONEY.!!! :upset: I'D ASK FOR MY CHEDDERD!! :kaioken: SHE ALL UP IN YOUR FACE TALKING ABOUT WHAT SHE DONE BOUGHT AND WHAT SHE HAS DONE...FLOSSING AND WHAT NOT. FUGG DAT. I WANT MY FUGGIN MONEY BACK. :upset: :upset: :upset: :upset:


For real, I can see if she wasn't able to give it back, but this broad is out doing everything BUT repaying her debt. I can't feel sorry for her if she is spending like she don't owe. If times were still hard for her, I'd be more understanding. It will not hurt to mention the debt to her and make some kind of arrangement with her.
 
When I give money I make it a donation. For example if the person need $500.00, I will give them a $50.00 donation. Therefore they will have to see several more friends to get the rest of the money. I believe if someone has to borrow money from a friend they cannot afford to go to the credit union or a loan institution to get money.

When I was in college and someone wanted to borrow something they had to leave something of value. Textbook or atleast 20 boxes of those little cornflakes. I never lost anything.

First thing one must not do is feel sorry for a broke person or a drunk person.

A lot of people pawn things.
 
Take her to small claims court.

Otherwise I would cut my losses...unfortunately when we loan with the expectation of getting it back, it also ends up changing our freindships. That why I always give with no expectations ? as a gift.
 
As a rule, I never <b>loan</b> money. If I have it to give, it is yours. Otherwise, they need to go to First National for that "loan action". Friendships get destroyed over some money. So I never loan it. I have given a hundred here or there or a little more, but it was as Dtown said a <i>gift</i>.


Right now, my co-worker's husband's friends borrowed money on the order of 600 bones so that the wife could fly with him to a funeral. They had money for him but not the wife. My co-worker's husband loaned it to them <b>last June</b>. It is now February, 2003. They have not been re-paid. And since then the loanees have taken a trip out of state and taken all three of his kids....never once paying back my co-worker...but telling them..."I am working on getting your money..."
 
First thing one must not do is feel sorry for a broke person or a drunk person.
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LOL, at that one. I agree. <Br><br>In my opinion, if you don't ask for your money, you are condone her not paying you back. I somewhat disagree with many of the previous post. If someone ask me to borrow money, THEY MADE IT A LOAN, NOT ME. AT THAT POINT, IT IS A MATTER OF THEM KEEPING THIER WORD. <br>If you ask me to give them some money, then I don't expect it back. but if they make it a loan (and they usually do to get more or to get you to go for it) they are being dishonest if they don't pay you back. <br><br>Now if they just tell you thier problem, and then you offer to help on your own, then it is on you whether you offer to loan it or just give it to them.
<br><br>I would definately ask for it back since they made it a loan, and would keep asking till I got it or we weren't friends anymore, because if they don't pay me back or at least deal with the situation with respect, they wasn't my friend anyway, so I haven't lost much but a chance to give away my money. And so far, I haven't had any trouble spending all my money myself, so I don't need a freind for that.<br><br>P.S. JSTUS, haven't heard from you since Southern beat Grambling a few weeks ago.
 

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Luke 6:34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
 
Originally posted by JSTUS
Say you had a friend you've known since 6th grade. The friend lost their job and needed some money to prevent getting kicked out of their place. They asked you for severrrrrrral hundred dollars saying they would give it back in two weeks.

Now, that has been a long time ago. The friend has since started working again and does not hesitate to tell you that they went out and bought this and that unnecessary thing, just lots of frivilous spending, but never mentions paying you a cent of your money. How do you handle it? Do you just count your losses or do you ask when am I gonna get my money?
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Look baby. We are not rich and that is why we work. Now, if they said, "Can I have some money?". That would have been one thing, but asking "Can I borrow some money?" is another. A loan is meant to be repaid and if they borrow money like this and dont repay, then the next time their in a hole they'll be thinking that they can do the same thing they did last time. The only way to teach them is to ask for your money back. Im sure that they would pay back Dwight Mann if they borrowed from him, so why take advantaged of your brothers and sisters? The only time that we are not to ask for anything back is in the Year of Jubilee. And since this IS NOT the year of Jubilee, then she would have to repay me. This is just my motto.

I'll tell her that I love her, but I needs my money. Plain and simple.
 
JSTUS, I feel your pain, but I took some Advil, and got over it.

A few years ago, a friend of mine was in some legal trouble, and needed $500 to retain the services of a lawyer. He called me begging, and I told him, "Man, I just got out of the navy, and I'm going on a cruise, that's not on a haze gray ship, so I can't help you."

He kept begging, saying I will pay you in 2 weeks, I just paid my rent, and car note, and I don't have the money, and this is my career, I promise you will get it back in 2 weeks. Being the softie that I can be sometimes, I broke down, and gave him the dough, even wired it through my checking account.

Needless to say it's been many a week since that December evening back in 1996, and I still haven't gotten my money. Mind you, 1 month later this nigra bought a house, and a volvo, and not once did he think about sending me my issue.

I asked that muthaphugga for my money, and he told me, his house was more important, that he would get me my money, just be patient. I had the nerve to go to Atlanta, and blow his brains out, but I used restraint, and counted it as a loss.

I just found out from a mutual friend that the car got repo'd, and the house got foreclosed on a few years back, I'm still without my bread, but I have some feel of satisfaction.

NICE
 
That situation is one of the many reasons I don't <i>give</i> out money.

I'll loan it to you, with 15% interest, compounded daily. But I won't give it to you. Damn that.
 
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