I wasn’t gonna post anything on this thread but after what happened today, I HAVE to....
After 3 years, 3 months, and 15 days of battling lung, brain, spine, and liver cancers, my Lord Jesus told my mother “Enough” and allowed her to peacefully and painlessly transition from this life on May 13th to rest in bliss with Him.
Our mother had told us (me and my sister) specifically what she wanted, and so once we could get a hold ourselves, we began to plan for her home-going. Just prior to her transition, our mother had consented to being placed into hospice home care, so, we had to notify them when she passed. Them white folks was on it!
The nurse was there within 15 minutes we called. She came in & checked my mother’s vitals and shook her head. She IMMEDIATELY gave her condolences to us both. She calmly explained the protocol of what she had to do next and explained WHY she had to. One task involved calling the police (to ensure no abuse or neglect). When the officer arrived, he (white male) IMMEDIATELY expressed his condolences and looked (discreetly) over our mother (checked her arms, face, legs) to confirm no abuse. He then asked, “Is this Momma?”, and when we said “yes”, he again gave his condolences and with tears welling in his eyes told us his mother passed away 5 months ago. He explained that the law required him to be present when the body was taken from the home, but out of respect for our grief, he’d give us privacy and wait outside in his patrol car.
Our mother wanted to be cremated; it was the hospice nurse that called Arkansas Cremation Services. Since our mother died of natural causes, her body had to be taken by a funeral home service. The service we would use was 92 miles away, so we couldn’t think straight. The hospice nurse calle the funeral home associated with ACS; they were there in 20 minutes. Upon arrival, he and his wife introduced themselves and also gave their condolences. He told us where he’d be taking our mother and he would care for her like he would his own. He gave us a few minutes before taking my Momma away.
Later that day we got a call from the Crematorium, and that white woman knew her stuff. She immediately gave her condolences and made an appointment for Momma’s cremation. She gave us the link to pick out urns and suggested that if ashes were buried to purchase a vault. A few hours later the Crematorium director called us to confirm the cremation, after offering his condolences. He told us exactly what would happen the minute we got there, and the day of Momma’s cremation, we followed it to a T! He too let us say our final goodbye to our mother and after pulling ourselves together calmly told us which button would start the process. Holding hands, my sister and I locked our fingers together and pressed it. When the Crematorium director saw we were about to be set off again, he kindly suggested we go order Momma’s urn & vault. He was very patient with us and quoted us prices for the urn, vault, inscription, and death certificates. After checking things out, his price matched the quote exactly. He gave his condolences again and told us when to pick up our mother’s ashes.
We got a call from Carol the day he gave us informing us everything was ready.
The funeral home that Momma wanted for her service were Black-owned located in her hometown in Warren. And this is where it got ugly.
First, my sister called and it was like pulling teeth the get info from this knee-grow! When we asked exactly what services they provide, he was like, “whatever you’d like us to”. Do you provide graveside? “If that’s what you want”. What does that include? “We’ll be at the grave site service”.
When I called to secure the date of our mother’s service, which was 16 days in advance, he said, “Your sister didn’t say anything about it”. I told him that I wanted to secure the date, and asked if it was available. He said, “That’s too far ahead”. I again explained that I wanted to secure a date, and he repeated it was too far ahead. I finally said, “Mr. Hammons, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING BOOKED FOR THAT DATE?”. He replied, ‘No’ and I asked if we could have that date and he said ‘Yes’. I explained 3 times what we needed him to and gave him the date and time again. He said “ok”.
Yesterday, 16 days later, I called to confirm. He wasn’t in and his secretary said she’d have him call me back tomorrow. He didn’t call today, so I called again. He wasn’t in again today either. I explained to her I needed to confirm he’d be in place on the date we agreed. She said she’d try to get to him and have him call me. About 45 minutes later, she called me back and said, “Mr. Hammons has an out-of-town funeral that morning AND WON’T BE BACK IN TIME FOR YOUR SERVICE”!!!!
This was today.....4 days before my mother’s home-going.