One or Two Parent Households
- Thread starter Tara
- Start date
the band fan
Baseball Fan
where I live...you had some sour apples develop out of a two parent households...you had some exceptional kids develop from 1 parent households..
I recommend two but if one is doing their job nothing wrong with it.....
as long as the kid isn't a brat or spoiled, it's cool with me...
I recommend two but if one is doing their job nothing wrong with it.....
as long as the kid isn't a brat or spoiled, it's cool with me...
Warndalyn
Postmaster General!!!
One parent household here
I agree with Ice Man....I don't think it has anything to do with the number of parents. I think it has to do with your upbringing. I know several people from two parent homes that didn't turn out to be nothing and have had several failed marriages or even have bad attitudes about the institution of marriage. So therefore, I don't think it has anything to do with it.
Now I must say my mother did a fabulous job raising me and my brother on her own.
I agree with Ice Man....I don't think it has anything to do with the number of parents. I think it has to do with your upbringing. I know several people from two parent homes that didn't turn out to be nothing and have had several failed marriages or even have bad attitudes about the institution of marriage. So therefore, I don't think it has anything to do with it.
Now I must say my mother did a fabulous job raising me and my brother on her own.
BluBlood
"Mississippi Woman"
Well, as most of you know that I come from a single parent home with my Grandma in the house as well. Just because you come from a single parent home doesn't mean that you have a nasty outlook concerning relationships. According to statistics, I'm suppose to follow that same pattern....*buzz* wrong answer. I am now 28. I don't have any children and don't plan on having any until I'm married.
By growing up with a dead-beat dad, it just help me realize what I don't want in a relationship. By being raised up in a household that believes in God and taught me, that had a great impact in my life. If I didn't follow his rules, I'm sure I would be some hoochie mama on the corner or whereever. When I was younger, yes the devil used that as a weapon for me, to bring me down, to have a nasty attitude about life, but I just gave it to God. I thank God for placing me in a single home with a Grandma. I know he did it for a purpose. There are a lot of things that I know now that I probably wouldn't even care to know if I was in a two parent home.
Great topic Tara!!!
By growing up with a dead-beat dad, it just help me realize what I don't want in a relationship. By being raised up in a household that believes in God and taught me, that had a great impact in my life. If I didn't follow his rules, I'm sure I would be some hoochie mama on the corner or whereever. When I was younger, yes the devil used that as a weapon for me, to bring me down, to have a nasty attitude about life, but I just gave it to God. I thank God for placing me in a single home with a Grandma. I know he did it for a purpose. There are a lot of things that I know now that I probably wouldn't even care to know if I was in a two parent home.
Great topic Tara!!!
Warndalyn
Postmaster General!!!
Very well spoken blu
You brought up some really good points in your post; I forgot about how your father not being around makes you see things better as far as relationships are concerned. It made me realize that I didn't want that type of man around me and my son.
Yes Tara, very good topic.
You brought up some really good points in your post; I forgot about how your father not being around makes you see things better as far as relationships are concerned. It made me realize that I didn't want that type of man around me and my son.
Yes Tara, very good topic.
the band fan
Baseball Fan
forget polls and mess....when you get the chance to play the parent role.....do your job and raise the kid right, regardless what your household is....
I've seen the best households turn out below average kids
I've seen the worst households turn out exceptional kids...
environment does not matter
I've seen the best households turn out below average kids
I've seen the worst households turn out exceptional kids...
environment does not matter
Panther88
Banned
VERY GOOD TOPIC!!!!
I cannot add value to anything that the previous 5-6 posts have stated.
I am the product of a one parent household. By not having the biological sperm donor around (
), I taught self what type of father I'd want to be when positioned in that regard. I think I've done/am doing a terrific job w/ the lil' girl.
I cannot add value to anything that the previous 5-6 posts have stated.
I am the product of a one parent household. By not having the biological sperm donor around (
), I taught self what type of father I'd want to be when positioned in that regard. I think I've done/am doing a terrific job w/ the lil' girl.
MsJag4Jag
Moderator
I've seen both sides.
I am a from a single parent household, and I turned out pretty good! Well, my grandma beat my arse with a switch and made me mannerable and obedient....
My Mama simply put FEAR in me.
I know of several examples who had both parents and were spoiled rotten....and they NOW can't do anything by themselves or without the help of the parent.... It just happens that way sometimes.
I am a from a single parent household, and I turned out pretty good!
Well, my grandma beat my arse with a switch and made me mannerable and obedient....My Mama simply put FEAR in me.
I know of several examples who had both parents and were spoiled rotten....and they NOW can't do anything by themselves or without the help of the parent.... It just happens that way sometimes.
jelli
Music Lover
I'm not sure how to answer this, I lived with my grandparents. But my Mom and Dad, who were not together, were and are very active my life. So I basically came from a 4 parent home.
Although my parents weren't together, my dad has always been an important part of my life. I think because of the strong role models in my parents and my grandparents, I turned out ok. I do believe that my friends who are married(most are not very happily married ) have had more of an influence on the way I look at marriage and relationships.
Although my parents weren't together, my dad has always been an important part of my life.
I think because of the strong role models in my parents and my grandparents, I turned out ok. I do believe that my friends who are married(most are not very happily married ) have had more of an influence on the way I look at marriage and relationships.
AAMU Big Dawg
Chief Instigator
IMO...
The difference in the child comes from the love shown in the house. Be it One, Two, or more raising the child, the love, support, and attention paid to the child means the world.
My dad died while I was young, but I still remember some of the things he taught me and things we did together.
The kids may not all come out the way we would like for them too, but as parents, we've got to give them a good start.
Do your job as a parent, the rest put in God's hands.
The difference in the child comes from the love shown in the house. Be it One, Two, or more raising the child, the love, support, and attention paid to the child means the world.
My dad died while I was young, but I still remember some of the things he taught me and things we did together.
The kids may not all come out the way we would like for them too, but as parents, we've got to give them a good start.
Do your job as a parent, the rest put in God's hands.
My mother and I came from a two-parent home while my father's parents divorced when he was 12 or 13. My parents are past 70, are from the old school, and did not play. I am not going to lie to you. I did not always agree with them. But I do appreciate learning from them.
As my mother would say too, her parents did not play either. As a matter of fact, her mother put the fear of God in me.
My father turned out pretty good too. His extended family of aunts, uncles, grandparents as well as his parents watched out for the kids.
As my mother would say too, her parents did not play either. As a matter of fact, her mother put the fear of God in me.
My father turned out pretty good too. His extended family of aunts, uncles, grandparents as well as his parents watched out for the kids.
PrettiEyes
High on Life!
I've been on both sides...
Well, It was always just my mother and I along with my grandmother, aunt, and cousins that lived in the same house until my mom got married again when I was 14. It took a while for me to get used to have 2 parents to tell me what to do instead of one. I was rebellious at one point. My stepdad evetually grew on me. I realized that my stepdad has done alot of things for my mother and I. My dad is just a triflin con artist. I don't ask for much but when I do I have to have a "dayum receipt or proof." He treats me like a custumer rather than his daughter. I haven't spoken to him in 4 years. I tried to be the bigger person and try to open up the communication with him but he doesn't try to meet me halfway. I got tired of trying...I'm a GREAT daughter! SMART, TALENTED AND BEAUTIFUL. But hey it's sad that another man got to take care of a seed that's not even his...A GOOD SEED! Yes, the relationship with my dad has affected me GREATLY. It made me more determine to show him what he is missing out on and never ever put my future kids through this Bull$hit!
Well, It was always just my mother and I along with my grandmother, aunt, and cousins that lived in the same house until my mom got married again when I was 14. It took a while for me to get used to have 2 parents to tell me what to do instead of one. I was rebellious at one point. My stepdad evetually grew on me. I realized that my stepdad has done alot of things for my mother and I. My dad is just a triflin con artist. I don't ask for much but when I do I have to have a "dayum receipt or proof." He treats me like a custumer rather than his daughter. I haven't spoken to him in 4 years. I tried to be the bigger person and try to open up the communication with him but he doesn't try to meet me halfway. I got tired of trying...I'm a GREAT daughter! SMART, TALENTED AND BEAUTIFUL. But hey it's sad that another man got to take care of a seed that's not even his...A GOOD SEED! Yes, the relationship with my dad has affected me GREATLY. It made me more determine to show him what he is missing out on and never ever put my future kids through this Bull$hit!
MACKG
a.k.a. NASTYNUPE
I can only speak from my experiences
I grew up in a 2 parent household. My parents have been married for 36 years. I have never heard them fight one single day!!! I had a loving nurturing mother who worked hard everyday and came home...had dinner fixed for her husband and son...cleaned the house...graded papers...and helped me with my homework(and managed to gossip on the phone for 3 hours too) I had a loving one-of-a-kind father who taught me how to be a man, how to appreciate a woman, a best friend, someone who I could always talk to about anything. He worked hard everyday, came home and worked in the yard and kept the house looking good, maintained his garden to provide us with veggies, managed his rental property, graded his papers...and guess what....also helped me with my homework. Both parents were supportive in whatever I chose to do. They also saw things that maybe I was too young to understand. There was a time when I wanted to attend a rival university and march in their band. Since I was the only kid, I just wanted to spread my wings and do my own thing. God, am I glad they told me that there was no chance in hell that they would send me to {that sorry arse school down there}.
So when I think of marriage, I can only reflect on what I grew up seeing. When I think of love, I think of the love I saw growing up. I can't relate to single parent homes and all of that other stuff because I didn't grow up in that type of environment. I applaud single parents. But personally, I feel that children need a mother & father living IN THE HOME
I don't want to shuffle my kid from home to home on the weekends. I don't want to go through divorce. When that man says "Till death do you part" that's the only way me and my wife will go our separate ways. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This is mine!!!
I grew up in a 2 parent household. My parents have been married for 36 years. I have never heard them fight one single day!!! I had a loving nurturing mother who worked hard everyday and came home...had dinner fixed for her husband and son...cleaned the house...graded papers...and helped me with my homework(and managed to gossip on the phone for 3 hours too) I had a loving one-of-a-kind father who taught me how to be a man, how to appreciate a woman, a best friend, someone who I could always talk to about anything. He worked hard everyday, came home and worked in the yard and kept the house looking good, maintained his garden to provide us with veggies, managed his rental property, graded his papers...and guess what....also helped me with my homework. Both parents were supportive in whatever I chose to do. They also saw things that maybe I was too young to understand. There was a time when I wanted to attend a rival university and march in their band. Since I was the only kid, I just wanted to spread my wings and do my own thing. God, am I glad they told me that there was no chance in hell that they would send me to {that sorry arse school down there}.
So when I think of marriage, I can only reflect on what I grew up seeing. When I think of love, I think of the love I saw growing up. I can't relate to single parent homes and all of that other stuff because I didn't grow up in that type of environment. I applaud single parents. But personally, I feel that children need a mother & father living IN THE HOME
I don't want to shuffle my kid from home to home on the weekends. I don't want to go through divorce. When that man says "Till death do you part" that's the only way me and my wife will go our separate ways. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This is mine!!!
MightyDog
Well-Known Member
The misconception is that Black Women raise the majority of black kids in America. Growing up in Alabama, 98% of us had Mothers and Fathers. The media wants to continue this lie that fathers are not taking care of their familes.
Having said that it doesn't matter if you have one parent or two parent, the material things around you will help shape your life. I strongly believe a fool is going to be a fool no matter what. They can go to the best schools run with the best people and still turn out to be a fool.
We do the best we can with what we have and even that is not enough sometimes. We have immediate family as previous mentioned that some of us turn out ok and some don't. But the one thing that is important; we have to make it happened. You may not become a rocket scientist, but a good days work for a good days pay never fails no matter what profession one chooses.
Having said that it doesn't matter if you have one parent or two parent, the material things around you will help shape your life. I strongly believe a fool is going to be a fool no matter what. They can go to the best schools run with the best people and still turn out to be a fool.
We do the best we can with what we have and even that is not enough sometimes. We have immediate family as previous mentioned that some of us turn out ok and some don't. But the one thing that is important; we have to make it happened. You may not become a rocket scientist, but a good days work for a good days pay never fails no matter what profession one chooses.
the band fan
Baseball Fan
yes......
Banana Puddin'
Ms. Happiness!
I grew (or is it still growing....I'm only 20) up in a two parent home. My parents have been together for almost 22 years. I agree with what almost everyone else said. It's not how many parents you have in the house, it's what the parent(s) instill in you. I'm glad my mother and father are still together and that things are "peachy keen" between the two of them. As far as relationships go, I realize, that by growing up in my parents' home, I want what they have, and I also realize that my father is the kind of man that I want to be in a relationship with.
MightyDog
Well-Known Member
I read an article in yesterday's newspaper which stated that 62% of the prison population in Alabama is Black. Just a thought as it relates to this thread. Everyone that I know is prison is from a well to do family. However, the article mentioned poverty and being poor are the causes. Although, I agree with some of the comments, but it appears Drugs is the main cause of so many going to prison in Alabama. Most of these kids are from two parents homes.
MikeBigg
Well-Known Member
I came from a single parent household! However, it was unique because my father was involved in my life and still is. I was what is known as an "outside" child but had the opportunity to interact with my other brothers and sisters on a regular basis. We all are very close and supportive of each other. It helped that my older brother (by my father) set the stage by showing love to my two older sisters (mother) when they came in contact with each other as teens. Yes, Pappa was a rolling stone. But he is a good man who loved his children and made sure that they treated each other as brother and sister.
I love both of my parents, but there is more of a bond between me and my mother. I'm her only son (an older-by 2 years- brother) died when I was 7, so it was me and my two older sisters. I had it made, because these 3 ladies, my greatgrandmother who lived with us, and my grandmother (who lived nearby) and my "aunts" who were my mother's first cousins thought I was the isht.
Lucky for me, Dad came around to keep it real for my azz. He never whipped me, but the threat of getting my face smacked and butt kicked (figuratively) kept me in line. The man was a good role model, in that he didn't sugar coat things or try to hide it. I once asked him why two families...he matter of factly said, " It's wrong, but I wanted to do it". Then he said, just don't you do it son, it ain't easy and it's hard to find 1 good woman now adays much less two. Well fortunately, I found that one good one and we have been together 22 years with 3 children and a godchild (my oldest son's godchild) who lives with us and a granddaughter on the way (my mannish azz youngest son).
PS: Still looking for that good #2 (Like Father Like Son)
I love both of my parents, but there is more of a bond between me and my mother. I'm her only son (an older-by 2 years- brother) died when I was 7, so it was me and my two older sisters. I had it made, because these 3 ladies, my greatgrandmother who lived with us, and my grandmother (who lived nearby) and my "aunts" who were my mother's first cousins thought I was the isht.
Lucky for me, Dad came around to keep it real for my azz. He never whipped me, but the threat of getting my face smacked and butt kicked (figuratively) kept me in line. The man was a good role model, in that he didn't sugar coat things or try to hide it. I once asked him why two families...he matter of factly said, " It's wrong, but I wanted to do it". Then he said, just don't you do it son, it ain't easy and it's hard to find 1 good woman now adays much less two. Well fortunately, I found that one good one and we have been together 22 years with 3 children and a godchild (my oldest son's godchild) who lives with us and a granddaughter on the way (my mannish azz youngest son).
PS: Still looking for that good #2 (Like Father Like Son)