Marital Beliefs


JSTUS

JSTUS

THE WARHORSES!!!
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
 
Originally posted by JSTUS
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
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Why are you trying to create a Ruckus with questions like theses?
 

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Originally posted by JSTUS
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?Personally, I can not take the separation. I need to be with my family. I believe that a family that prays together, to to church together, enjoy life's little moments together, have their ups and down together, stays together. Just my opinion.

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?Once again, You two becomes one, so hyphenated names really is not a big problem. As long as the man do not end up with the woman's last name on the end of his.

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not? Now that's a problem. I believe the word when God said to be fruitful and multiply. But, did He mean that only for Adam and Eve? No. Psalms says that children are gifts from God. Sons are considered an honor in the Old Testament. So, I would say that she should pray and talk to God for herself, cause He would show her in His word what to do.
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I totally agree with blacknbengal.

The funny thing is that one of my co-workers was talking about this yesterday. Her aunt's husband was working in a different state from where she lived. Now that she is retiring and wanting to move with him he has filed for a divorce.

Reason: He had become accustomed to the single life and did not want to give up his women.
 
I think in these situations, the couple should just continue to date. What's the point in getting married???

Originally posted by JSTUS
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
Click to expand...
 
Originally posted by JSTUS
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
Click to expand...

When my job transferred me to Dallas, I spent almost two years here, while my wife and daughter were in Mississippi. We spent almost two years apart. And when her job contract was up, they moved to Dallas. And the separation wasn't easy. It was very difficult, but it was a decicion we both made, and both lived with. I hated that I missed alot of my daughter's growing up (in that time), but we commuted back and forth at least twice a onth the entire time. I've put 38,000 miles on my Blazer in two years. Now to your question: Was it a marriage? It was. The love and respect for each other did get tested, I'll admit it. But there was never a time when I didn't wan't my family in Dallas with me. And there were times when I thought about quitting my job and going back to Mississippi to be with them. But that wouldn't make much economic sense. But prayer and sheer will and effort saw us through it, and now we're together.


And my wife abbreviates her name. And I'm cool with it. She already had a professinal identity before she married me, so it's no big-deal that she kept her name and simply added mine. It only becomes and issue when the IRS system can't distinguish the names. So she had to re-position the name on her tax forms. But it doesn't bother me that she has two last names.

We both wanted children, and we have one. Now I want some more, but she's like 'I don't know'. I'm an only child, and she was number-two of four girls. But we're still talking about it....We'll see.
 
Originally posted by JSTUS
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?

This will never work for me. It's hard enough to stay happily married or married period without the separation being involved. I really can't see how two people can grow together and get to know one another if they're always apart. I don't like being away from my boyfriend too long, so this is a definite NO-NO for moi.

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?

This is not an issue for me. If the man has no objections, then it really shouldn't matter to anyone else.

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?

Now this is a problem. A husband and wife needs to be on one accord with an issue such as this. This should be discussed well before marriage and if either party is not in concurrence, the marriage is headed for destruction. Why wouldn't one want to bear children with their spouse?

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How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?

That would not work for me... Once I am married he go where I go or I go where he go



How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?

Where I would like to combine our two last names (exp... my last name is Jones and let's use my friend last name walker so we could do someone thing like Mr and Mrs Walones or Mr and Mrs. Jonalk) and make one and start our own family history...Isn't marrage about starting a new life...


How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
Won't be an issue he would know before we get married that I want children.
 
Originally posted by JSTUS
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?
Lets See, I believe that it would be hard to do but as long as the couple respect and continue to see each other it should be ok. But keep in mind they should not be happy with this.

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?
I dont like it. I told my wife like this. "Changing your name is a western tradition. They dont do it anywhere else in the world. I dont like hyphenated names, so either you keep your maden name or you change your last name to mine, but not both! :mad:". Well she selected to change her name to mine. :D

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
Communication is the Key. You must talk all this out before you get married. You should know if the other wants children, if so how many boys, and how many girls (like you have a choice but it is still nice to know.)
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That's All. :D
 
I'm currently in Cali while my wife and baby boy are still in Houston. It's hard, but we both know it will only be for a few months. It's probably harder on her because she has less help with the lil man. Also because of the fact that I'm have a lot of fun while I'm out here. :D
 
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?

This question all depends on the circumstances. I mean if it is an unexpected move by one party, but temporary, then I can see it still woprking if both people are true to making it work. Just like some of the examples listed above, or even the military example that you used in the question, would be situations where it had to be that way. But if two people married, and say lived in 2 seperate cities, and decided that they would stay in those seperate locations strictly so they could maintain their current lefestyles, my questiuon wouyld be, why did they even get married? If a person wants to be single and live a single persons lifestyle, then why go through all the trouble of getting married?

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?
I think this is a crock of ish. My wife will be Mrs. Hunter and Mrs. Hunter only. I don't give a monkey's left nut what her profession is. That will have no bearing on her changing her last name. What is the point. I mean if she is known by her maiden name, then she will just have to start to inform all those involved with that she is now married and that her name is changing. Eventually everyone will catch on. There will be no questioning this with me. If she doesn't want to be known by my last name, then she and I don't need to be together.

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
Well this is a situation that should have been discussed several times well before any vows were taken. People need to discuss their attiutudes about mnarraige and what they expect from amrraige well in advance of doing so. That is one of teh biggest problems I see with people. They have complaints about their marraiges, but most times they are problems that should have been discussed and decided upon well before tieing the knot. And 9 times out of 10, the mate that doesn't want children had stated it many times before.
 
Originally posted by JSTUS
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?
If this is a temporary situation, it can work through prayer and respect for the marriage. However, like some already mentioned, if the couple chooses to live apart to maintain a particular lifestyle, why marry....

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?
Personally, I am going to take on my husband's last name.

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
Can you say problemo?! Communication is the key here, ESPECIALLY prior to marriage.
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Re: Re: Marital Beliefs

How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?
As a former military brat I know all about family seperation. My husband and I have a "7 Day Rule," which means that we won't spend seven consecutive days apart. Period. When and if this rule gets tested, compromises will have to be made, but breaking it isn't an option.

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?
I didn't hephenate my name, I simply made my maiden name my middle name. No one uses it, but it appears on my social security card. That's out of repect for my father, and my heritage which differs greatly from my husbands (Just like my husband honors his father with the continued use of his name). If a woman wants to retain her maiden name for whatever reason that's a personal choice, but it should be discussed in advance to marriage to negate any problems.

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?
This spells trouble. If two people weren't on the same accord with something as life-changing as this, they should have halted any plans of marriage.
 
Originally posted by JSTUS
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?Well I think it would be a problem if they don't have a strong relationship and if its not a temporary situation. Whether or not its a marriage would depend on the parties envolved and what they think of their union.


How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names? I personally wouldn't hyphenated my lastname. I think as doc said its tradition to take the mans lastname if I want to keep my name then just stay single.

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?. Now this would be a big rpoblem but I would hope this sort of thing would be discussed before marriage.
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So many questions...so little time...

How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?
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If I were already married, I'd just deal with it until we can be together. It would be hard, but I would deal with it. However, military lifestyle, men in the military are completely off limits for this puddin. No offense, but I'm not dating or marrying anyone who has to spend a lifetime away from me. A year, two years away...not knowing what's going on in our lives etc..is not marriage or my idea of marriage.</font>


How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?
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Lets see, I'm Valerie Fuller and I'd prefer to be Valerie Fuller + husband's last name.

But, I'm can't promise I'll change my last name if I ever get married. Either way, I'd do what makes us both happy. Of course, that will be whatever "I decide".:emlaugh:</font>

How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?

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You should know this answer and have discussed it long before saying "I do." If a man or woman does not want children that's their perrogative. Different experiences have different outcomes and influences on people. It's simply not meant for everyone to have children, just like it's simply not meant for everyone to get married.

If you want children, don't marry someone who doesn't.
If you don't want children, don't marry someone who does.
It's that simple. No one should have to feel pressured to do so after marriage if it has already been discussed and decided upon prior to saying I do. The outcome could result in separation/divorce. You can't make a person feel something they don't. </font>
 
1. If I was in that situation, it wouldn't bother me one bit.. I don't think a man and a woman need to be all under each other every waking hour that they are not working.. A man and a woman can have a perfectly fine relationship even if they are apart for long periods of time. A few weekends a month is more than alot of married couples who stay in the same house get.

2. I would prefer the woman keep her maiden name. This is why: all of a woman's life, she is known by a certain name. She achieves things under this name. (diploma, degrees, memberships in organizations, etc.) Why should she want to change to something new just because a johnny come lately (me) wants to marry her? I hate the hyphenated thing.. Just go with one or the other!

3. There has to be an agreement or a compromise on this issue. I for one do not want any kids. I know this is in direct conflict with what most women want. Either I can find a woman who doesn't want or can not have kids or I will have to have at least one with whoever I marry. It is as simple as that. If you love whoever you are with, it shouldn't be hard to make that decision.

Of course all of these answers are coming from a single person..
 
How do you feel about a husband and wife living in separate states for an indefinite period of time (not because of military assignment) and only seeing each other a few weekends a month? Is that really a marriage?

I have had long distance relationships before and they have worked out well as long as the two people are willing to keep the lines of communication open. As far as a marriage is concerned... I go where you go and vice versa. If I can't go... why not???

How do you feel about wives with hyphenated last names?

It is a tradition in some cultures for women to keep thier maiden names, so that the children will be able to trace thier family's heritage easily on both the mother and the father's side of the family. I would hypenate my last name as a courtesy to my children and thier children's children. Not out of disrespect for my spouse. If that other person is not as open minded as I am about this situation then we wouldn't even be dating let alone contemplating marriage.


How do you feel about the husband wanting children and the wife not?

"Do not become unevenly yoked" If you do not agree on major things like children or where you will live. Small things fine (color scheme's, what are we eating for dinner, sex tonight?,etc...) But life decision's need to be worked out during the dating process....
 
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